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Rundown: rpanons is an anonymous community for role-play related topics. This place serves as a forum for game discussions, canon discussions, RP solicitations (ATP, game ads, open memes), and advice. The occasional off topic comment is inevitable, but please keep heated social and political topics to their respective communities. Posting them here will only get them frozen. Subsequent threads made to bypass a freeze will then be deleted.

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Comments

ITT: Why DWRP has so many problems

[(Anonymous)]

Seriously, all it takes is some communication to say hey my character isn't going to jump into bed with them right away but after a few threads we can do some smut.

Re: ITT: Why DWRP has so many problems

[(Anonymous)]

alternately, say upfront that you do not do dubcon/noncon and you are not interested in dubcon/noncon scenes

isn't that the whole point of permissions posts? even that master has one now

da

[(Anonymous)]

tbh, considering the nature of noncon/dubcon, people who want to play it should be the ones asking their partners first before they just assume it's okay.

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

i've never seen anyone 'sneak it' the way rape anon insists they do, but hope springs eternal i suppose

i'm not going to argue with you on that because you're right, but that doesn't mean you can't make your preferences clear too. like the op said in their title, this refusal to communicate (see: i'm not going to tell you i'm not interested in your tag, i'm going to ignore it and make you guess if you did something wrong!) is where a lot of modern-day dwrp's problems come from

Re: ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not accusing people of sneaking, and you're right that a preference list helps, but in the absence of one (I've never made one, usually because I'm so indecisive on kinklists an I always feel like I'm forgetting one so I'd rather ass on the stress), one shouldn't assume noncon/dubcon is okay by default, and sometimes it feels like a lot of people DO, sneaky or not.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

it's not people "sneaking" it, it's people tagging me for smut with setups that make my character have to be an aggressor or a creep to make the smut happen. they're assuming by default that i'll be okay with playing dubcon or noncon, and they shouldn't.

Re: +1

[(Anonymous)]

if you don't say flat-out you're not interested in dubcon/noncon you don't have any room to whine when this happens

what part of "people aren't mind readers" is so hard to understand in this hobby?

da

[(Anonymous)]

because rapekink shouldn't be something that defaults to ok? are you fucking kidding me?

you're right, people aren't mindreaders, but holy shit, you should not just assume strangers are okay with rape scenarios, you mental midget

+100000

[(Anonymous)]

jesus christ

Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

did i say strangers or anyone should be okay with rape scenarios? way to jump to conclusions as you do, rapenon

if ayrt's partner is fishing for rape, they're in the wrong. but ayrt is also in the wrong for doing the exact same thing -- not stating what they're after right out the gate

Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

if they said they were after smut (and from the sound of it made it pretty clear it was going to be consensual), no they're not in the wrong for some fucking walnut assuming that meant a rape scenario was a-okay without asking first.

people who want to play this shit need to be asking others first. period.

Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

they said flat-out they don't have a permissions post and they never said no noncon-dubcon

you can feel however you want to feel about noncon/dubcon, but if you don't make your feelings known (on your actual journal, not on anon spaces) no one is going to know

so yeah, it's her fault too. you having a hardon for dubcon/noncon players doesn't change that both players in this made the same mistake

Re: +1

[(Anonymous)]

look. even putting aside whether rape kink "should" be default or not, i wouldn't want to play with anyone who treated it as such. you know why? because of threads like this.

if you're into rape kink, that's totally fine, but if you lack the foresight to realize that some people are going to throw shitfits about it or may even be legitimately triggered by it (it does happen), i don't want to play with you, because that shows a SERIOUS lack of ability to see beyond what gets you hot.

-1

[(Anonymous)]

i feel like dubcon/noncon should be a thing you ask for, not assume.

-1

[(Anonymous)]

EVERYTHING should be asked for rather than assumed

that's why both players are wrong here, op also assumed (a more socially acceptable assumption, but still an assumption)

Re: -1

[(Anonymous)]

op here and i thought it was a pretty fair assumption to make, considering i've already said we discussed it a few times and every chat made it sound like there would be mutual attraction and consensual hooking up

Re: -1

[(Anonymous)]

you're right, op. it IS a pretty fair assumption

but it's still an assumption

just message them. no one else can tell you what they want out of a scene but them.

dda

[(Anonymous)]

you mean the OP assumed their partner wouldn't spring a rape scenario on them without asking first? truly they are the devil itself.

Re: +1

[(Anonymous)]

because unlikely the kinks themselves, consent to playing them is pretty much essential

Re: ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

Then you're lucky, or you're not playing a character type who attracts these sorts of players. It happens a lot.

Re: ITT: Why DWRP has so many problems

[(Anonymous)]

but that's not how this thread came to be. 'you agreed to play smut and we're supposed to be playing smut, but you're turning down smut'. replace smut with any other thing and people would be just as confused. if you agree to do the thing and don't say 'sure, let's play smut, but it'll take a bit for my char to warm up', then most people are going to naturally assume you mean IN THAT THREAD. that's like jumping into a smut meme about mid-fuck memes, then deciding that your char was raped or ignoring that it's a mid-fuck meme and not having any sex happen. why play in the smut theme if you're not going to smut it up?

i'm not against not smutting. don't smut if you don't want. but don't agree to something, play something out, and then do everything possible to not do the thing you agreed to. it does come off like they're expecting dubcon/noncon at that point.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

it'd be like if someone agreed to play a murder plot, only for their character to dodge every single attack when it came time to thread it out.

if you agreed that your character would get killed, at some point you have to let them get injured.

if you agree to smut, at some point your character is going to be horny. stop dodging the pheromones and let it happen!

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

It's still obviously a communication issue going on here because one of two things is likely going on here:

1. RP partner didn't really want to play out smut and was too afraid to say no
2. RP partner is good with smut, but didn't say that it would need buildup over multiple threads or noncon/dubcon being involved. Even in memes sometimes characters need more buildup and players talk about assumed CR to skip that stuff.
3. While not as likely, it could be possible the characters don't mesh well together after all.

That's what the issue here is. OP is saying RP partner agreed to smut. OP obviously assumed it was that thread but RP partner failed to communicate or was too afraid to say what they really did or did not want.

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

i can agree with it needing to be retalked about, especially since it's been multiple threads, multiple talks about how 'this time, it's going to happen', and then multiple nos. op's stated that their partner talks about how their char is going to jump ops, so there's definitely mixed messages going on.

tbh, at this point, i'd be having one more 'is this happening' discussion, give it one more go, then drop it, because if someone tells me 'we're going to smut' and we talk about smutting and go to thread out smutting and no smut happens, something isn't' working here.

Re: ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, also sounds like OP could use some more description of the other character's thoughts to even know if they are getting anywhere. Or some communication on ways that may work better.