rpanonyoda ([personal profile] rpanonyoda) wrote in [community profile] rpanons2017-02-08 11:04 pm

good luck to your dad on his path to downton abbey BNFdom

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(Anonymous) 2017-03-03 12:50 am (UTC)(link)
I would send them a birthday card with a sweet note, and leave it at that tbh. That kind of leaves the door open but decreases the effort you put in.

I also agree with the commenter above me, it's pretty normal to want to have a gift you put effort into getting be nicely acknowledged. I want that and try to do the same in return when I get gifts.

op

(Anonymous) 2017-03-03 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
Don't put words in my mouth. I didn't ask them for anything. They repeatedly asked for me to update my address to "send mine" after I'd asked them to do the same so I could send theirs. I never once asked where mine was- I simply asked them where to send theirs. If they made the assumption that me getting them something means I was owed in return, to the point they felt they needed to lie about it, that was their mistake, not mine.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-03 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
You sound fat and friendless.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-03 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
they do have depression, so that might be the case. i definitely did that to this same person last year (i had purchased something through proxy on their behalf because i was already buying stuff for myself and didn't send it until a few months later), and i hadn't thought about that! it's a good point.

i may try to gently bring it up the next time we're talking about things coming in the mail. i don't want her to feel ashamed for taking a while, but let her know i understand since I did it before, myself.

thanks, anon

(Anonymous) 2017-03-03 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
Exactly! TBH in this instance it's me wondering whether they liked it so I can get them something else that's similar in the future. If they didn't care for it much, then I don't want to get it for them and feeling I'm imposing this gift they don't like on them. It's not just for my own gratification, I want to know so I can either get them something similar or steer away from it in the future.

ayrt

(Anonymous) 2017-03-03 11:03 am (UTC)(link)
I don't disagree about the common courtesy part, but I don't know what you mean about "silly to act like money doesn't matter" as I've been saying all along it does matter.

OP mentioned that this time they bought "ton of stuff". It's possible their friend felt it was too much. Sure, they should have thanked but if they felt overwhelmed and pressured to give as much or more, maybe silence was all they could think of.

I don't blame OP's feelings. I would have been hurt in the same situation, but notice the tone OP is already talking about their friend: "knowing that not only will the favor not be returned, but they'll LIE about it".

The trust is gone if after one incident (that they have never even discussed), OP knows they are never going to get any gifts from their friend anymore, and they know the friend will lie to them in the future.

da

(Anonymous) 2017-03-03 11:05 am (UTC)(link)
No, you didn't ask, but deep down you expected to get something. You said it yourself: it bugs me because i know their cash flow is even better than usual and much better than mine.

Re: da

(Anonymous) 2017-03-03 12:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Because it was previously agreed upon that we'd exchange gifts for birthdays and Christmas, dude. If that had changed for some reason, she should've let me know before I started Christmas shopping. She knew well in advance when I was starting to look for things and, what's more than that, expressed excitement when I would mention that I'd found "another perfect thing for you, can't wait for you to see it." ETC. She had plenty of opportunities to either tell me she couldn't get me something this year or ask to call off the gift exchange. I mean- I wouldn't have, but at least then I'd know her intentions?

As it stands, she's either lied to me, which bums me out severely because we promised not to do that to one another, or, as discussed in another thread, has the gift but hasn't sent it out of shame for being so late, which is why I'm trying to figure out how to gently approach the subject with her.

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2017-03-03 12:51 pm (UTC)(link)
It's really irritating you seem to be picking up on one little thing and running with it even after I'm trying to explain to you that isn't what I'm feeling and that you're extrapolating your own meaning and making assumptions without regard to my explanation. You don't know what I'm feeling and you're not the amazing internet psychologist you seem to think you are.

The reason why I mentioned the money situation is to explain why my first thought wasn't "maybe she can't afford it," because that NOT being my first thought would've been rude as fuck. Her having the money for it means that the explanation likely lies somewhere else. Also, had she not had the money (like last year on my birthday), in the past, she'd told me beforehand, "I'm sorry, I can't afford a gift for you this year," and we agreed my 'gift' would be a Skype call since we hadn't chatted in a while.

So, no, she doesn't have the excuse of money for not getting a gift, and she knows from previous example that I was okay with it if money was the problem. So the question is: what was it this time?

op

(Anonymous) 2017-03-03 12:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I didn't say I don't trust them anymore. I wonder if you're also making assumptions about whether this has changed our relationship at all, too, when it hasn't, unless she's feeling things I'm not aware of. It's the same as always, but I was curious as to how to possibly approach the situation of asking her about it, because, like I said to someone else, if she didn't like the gift, I don't want to get another one like it and make her feel frustrated, and I don't want her to feel guilty about a gift never getting to me, either, but that I am a little miffed that I know that she could've and that she knew well in advance that I was getting her one and had plenty of opportunity to either call off the annual gift exchange or let me know that she wasn't able to get me one.

My biggest irritant is the high likelihood she lied to me about it. That hurts my feelings. If she felt it was too much and didn't say anything, it'd also hurt my feelings, because we both promised to be candid with one another (and I plan to, but I was seeking advice before doing so). Last year I also spent more money on her than she did on me (a lot of what she went was hand-me-down things she'd already had) but she also knew how much I loved everything she sent to me.

I'm hurt, not distrustful. I just want to know the truth, want to know what went wrong (whether she forgot, etc), want to know if she avoided gushing about the gifts I got her because she felt bad she didn't get me something in return, and most importantly, whether she liked the stuff I got her because there's another one I want to get her for her birthday or this Christmas if she did like the last gift.

Re: +1

(Anonymous) 2017-03-03 12:57 pm (UTC)(link)
she gave me hand-me-downs last year, so, nah, i'd be okay with it. an effort was made. another friend sent me a poo emoji plush they got for $4 at walmart and it was the funniest and best gift ever because i like to spam the poop emoji at them. thought counts.

Re: KINKS YOU WANT TO PLAY

(Anonymous) 2017-03-04 08:40 am (UTC)(link)
Age gap/underage m/f in a postapocalyptic or otherwise isolated setting. An older guy and younger girl basically only have each other for company, and get over the taboo of their age difference because they literally only have each other. A sexual relationship that's not necessarily born out of love but mainly because they have nobody else and it's a stress relief.

I'd like the relationship to be similar to Joel/Ellie, or hell just Joel/Ellie as characters. I have a preference for the younger party. Drop a sock!

Re: shiro (voltron)

(Anonymous) 2017-03-06 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
this is late and i'm late but what the heck. the above responses are pretty on spot for the majority of shiro, but something else not mentioned here is he's as much of a goofy human as the rest of them.

back when season 1 aired, josh said he voiced shiro "as their peer", not as a leader, or a mentor, or a dad/adult. when they're joking around about the laser sounds, yeah shiro tries to redirect them, but he also stops for a second to make his own laser noises. he joined in that asteroid-snowball fight, the food fight.

basically, he knows when to be serious and coral the paladins into what they need to be doing. he definitely has near-infinite patience and he's seen some shit. but he's not that much older than them and he has fun with them too. seeing people talk and play shiro as the Dad And Only The Dad Ever put me off playing outside of psls, so I wish you the best luck anon!

Re: KINKS YOU WANT TO PLAY

[personal profile] hypathia 2017-03-06 06:39 am (UTC)(link)
I have a few scenarios I'd like to play out! I'll play an OC for all of these, with a drawn PB, but I have no preference who I play off of.

1: A variant on the "800 year old loli" theme. A guy/girl is a member of a religious order, and once every X years, the goddess they worship chooses an acolyte to marry/take as her lover. Being selected is a great honor, and it just so happens that it's them!

It just happens that behind closed doors, when they finally meet said goddess, she looks like she's 12. (And she's mildly indignant about it.) I'd also like to include some femdom themes here, with the goddess knowing what she wants despite the acolyte's misgivings.

I'd like to play the goddess, and am okay with f/m and f/f both, though I slightly prefer f/m for this.

2: Age gap/daddy kink! Not underage or incest, just an older guy dating a younger woman and they engage in some mild daddy play. I'd like to play the younger woman here.

Note: I do have a trans girl OC who I'd love to play for this, but if that's not anyone's cup of tea I'm perfectly fine using one of my cis girls instead!

3: Persephone style, a girl/young woman is kidnapped by a demon to serve as his bride. The demon is actually fairly gentle and treats her well, but it's still captivity. This would be more of a longer burn PSL. Prefer to be the kidnapped queen.

PM me here!

Neal Cassidy | Once Upon a Time

(Anonymous) 2017-03-12 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
Open to anything.

Might go with "ofbrokenpromises", but feeling iffy.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-14 07:49 am (UTC)(link)
Shsl

SAILOR MOON

(Anonymous) 2017-03-19 05:09 am (UTC)(link)