i choose to marry the triceratops

[socksuke_uchiha]

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Comments

Re: RP WOES

[(Anonymous)]

da

based on personal experience, you dodged a bullet

anyone I've ever played with who needed to constantly talk about rp all day every day, and felt faulted when I wasn't there immediately, always ended up displaying other red flags

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

in retrospect months and months after the fact, we really were not a good fit! they preferred to talk about playing and i preferred to play. i don't think it was a red flag so much as they had a different style than me.

op

[(Anonymous)]

i don't really side with the idea that everyone who needs ooc chatter to start up or boost their engagement with a thread isn't actually interested in roleplaying. they just need a different ooc environment than i can personally provide.

that said, venting on rpa and answering a few comments here is something i can do for a little bit, one and done style. sustaining the energy to talk about a ship or thread daily extensively is an ongoing, long-term commitment. you're not comparing like for like.

i also think it's unfair of you to say that people in my situation aren't expressing 'basic enthusiasm,' when that's not the case at all. we're not able to do this with as much regularity as someone else might need, and both points of view are valid. sometimes people's ooc needs don't align, and it sucks, but you're better off being self aware about the situation than trying to force it. this is the 'rp woes' thread, not the 'rp fix-me's, ultimately.

Re: AYRT

[(Anonymous)]

da and yeah as someone who is both a consistent tagger AND someone who likes to chatter ooc about threads and cr, i wouldn't want to tag with any of the anons in this thread because yikes. i really wonder why people participate in what is fundamentally a social hobby when it's so clear that they hate the actual social aspect of it and seem to actively resent the people who actually want to be social.

op

[(Anonymous)]

i definitely appreciate your point of view, and i think you're right to cut those boundaries for yourself! but i really want to stress, because i think it's getting lost in this thread, most of us aren't advocating for stonewalling thread partners. personally, i try to talk to mine every two-three days. but that's unfortunately never going to keep pace with someone who has the bandwidth to spend hours on discord daily back and forthing about fandom, threads or ships, and i also don't blame thread partners who need that to get their juices going. it sucks, because sometimes you can be a crazily good match in every other aspect of rp, but we each need what we need.

Re: op

[(Anonymous)]

ngl I think someone who demands a thread partner be constantly chatting ooc about shit not related to rp is a pretty new concept, because it wasn't like this in the early dwrp days. yeah, people chatted on plurk or whatever, but I and plenty of other people kept our convos to rp only (which is all you really need imo) and had no blowback or trouble from it.

the emotionally needy types who drop you if you aren't spending hours going back and forth with them every day sound nightmarish to deal with

Re: op

[(Anonymous)]

... it was always like this, though? every single lj/dwrp game i was in in the early 2000s had a game chatroom where people would be hanging out to shoot the shit at all hours both about rp and about anything and everything else.

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

it wasn't my behaviors or patterns changing or anything. i am not very good at ooc chatter but i put in effort because they expressed it was important for them. i just couldn't hit the mark.

they were actually the one who put in progressively less effort to tag back and i did not mind at the time but after they cut it off i realized invalue consistent tags over talking about thread direction at length! i think they were the kind of person who wanted to hammer out every detail and then play it while i prefer the base details and then actually threading and being flexible from there.

i don't think i have anything to fix, i am happy with how i roleplay and have nothing against their version. but it isn't for me!

[(Anonymous)]

they did! so i made it a priority. but talking every day wasn't enough because i wasn't doing it at length enough i guess even though i made a huge effort at the frequency and tried to initiate contact. i was honest that I would try, i did, and i happily will be refusing to be made to feel like i did a single thing wrong. if talking every day wasn't enough, if i really did have to talk through every action of every thread? it's not for me! i couldn't have given them anything more and that's fine.

[(Anonymous)]

not going to lie, it's starting to feel increasingly as if you need to include a 10-part thesis disclosing and providing evidence of everything you tried in detail and good faith before you're okay to post to this thread, even with an opinion as bland as 'sucks to lose a thread partner because of this thing neither person can change, but is what it is.'

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

yeah i have no idea why people are taking my rather bland comments about it so poorly and assuming bad faith of me so much. i have nothing bad to say about the person who i didn't click with! i agree they were right. i wish only good things for them and me with people we click with more. but i also think i made a perfectly reasonable effort at it and there isn't any more i could have possibly done. both things can be true!

[(Anonymous)]

yep, and it's ignoring the odds that op's partner was, in fact, one of the many, many shiny chasers with the attention span of a gnat we have in this hobby

just assuming at this point that all the devil's advocates interrogating and belittling op are the exact kind of person they're talking about and feeling asschafed defensive tbh

[(Anonymous)]

i always kind of assume anyone whose response to "we didn't click and that sucks" is "okay but have you considered all the ways in which that is your fault" maybe needs to go outside and chill a bit.

[(Anonymous)]

a lot of anons here over analyze everything which is concurrent with all the anxiety diagnoses we got running around

[(Anonymous)]

god forbid anybody talk about their rp woes in the rp woes thread

[(Anonymous)]

honest q: why have the rp woes thread at all? might as well rename it 'get on the bullseye while anons ready their arrows' then

[(Anonymous)]

idk what to tell you, they really did like to plan out every thread and the beats to it and told me specifically i was not doing that enough for them. i am not being uncharitable or defensive so much as saying to you i made an effort and it was real and if it wasn't enough, that isn't their fault!

but it also isn't mine and i find it interesting you believe it to be so strongly.