rpanons | my werewolf had a buttpuppy

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i help care for a relative who went through a stroke but he's turning into kind of an asshole as time goes on

i know he's overemotional about certain things but it drives me fucking nuts when he tries to "win" conversations or gets pushy/angry about the most minor shit

i'm trying to be understanding and not snap at him but it sucks having to bottle up my emotions until i can scream into a pillow later

i went shopping for them yesterday and he got pissy as fuck because i forgot to grab juice. even though i grabbed milk, mix for chocolate milk, they get good tap water, and they have other drinks at home like coffee

i don't get paid but i still want to help out so the wife isn't dealing with 100% of this shitty behavior

as someone who has been a caregiver for my mom for nearly six years now after her stroke, i have also had to deal with her bad moods and all the shitty things she can say when she decides she wants to basically be a bitch.

it's not easy in the slightest to deal with but i've learned sometimes the best thing is to just walk away and disengage when she's being like that. i come back about 30 mins later and she is either in a better mood or forgets what she said. talking to her about her behavior when she's in a better mood is a lot easier than basically having a yelling match. i don't always manage to walk away and disengage because it can get heated real quick when she wants to fight (and it can really feel that way). believe me, i know it's not easy to deal with in that moment.

but a big thing that needs to be monitored with any stroke patient is their exercising and sleeping habits. if they aren't getting enough of either, it's definitely going to affect their moods which will result in lots of shitty mood swings and outbursts over pretty much nothing or minor things (with my mom it's usually the tv).

a lot of my closer relatives don't have the patience to deal with her when she's like that and they often take it personally but i think it helps my mom always apologizes afterward when i tell her what she said and how rude/nasty she was. it happens less than it use to because i've had to learn what to do and from other doctors and physical therapy people.

best of luck to you, anon. i know it's rough.

tbh his memory isn't bad enough that i can do that, he's capable of long term grudges

he's definitely got unhealthy habits though. lots of sweets, not so much exercise, a lot of laying in bed or on the couch watching tv. he's a little overweight but it's not too bad i think

a lot of my relatives don't have the patience to deal with him either, with some of them complaining about his "tard rage" and generally using insults like that. i'm very patient in general so i don't take his tantrums personally (most of the time) but sometimes i get tired of bottling up my damn emotions and can't always fuck off somewhere else until i cool down

unfortunately he's got some toxic masculinity going on so he usually doesn't apologize and might even vent to others (like his wife) with "his side" where he's innocent and did absolutely nothing wrong, the other person was just being a huge bitch wtf guys!!

thanks for the caretaker solidarity, anon, i appreciate it. if i ever got married and had a spouse go through this, i honestly don't think i could put up with it though. he has bad moods, money problems, some of his more positive personality traits have been "lost", it feels so tragic if i put myself in his wife's shoes

Echoing anon above. You're doing a good thing by helping out, anon. I know it sucks to have to deal with the shitty attitude and to rarely if ever hear you're doing well, so here: you're doing awesome, and you are appreciated.

i know his wife appreciates my help at least! not that i expect it, but i'm not going unappreciated

it sucks having a relative be a brat at times but it sure beats customer service life

some of my relatives act smug toward me but at least i know that my one (1) customer won't smear shit on the bathroom walls or call me a capitalist cunt when i don't control the prices here and i can't give discounts to anyone who asks for it, sir

what's he gonna do, complain to my manager? my manager is his wife! [canned laughter]

sa

we had an argument and according to him, apparently i "don't do anything around here" and i'm butthurt af at his tittybabying simply because of him constantly poking the bear lately

i know he's trying to instigate and he gets overly emotional about minor things because of his stroke but i'm still a flawed human being and capable of intense buttfury

i called him out for treating shittier relatives (ie the ones who complain about him being a "retard" and his "tard rage" and never want to be around him unless they want something) with more love and respect than he gives me and he didn't even try to convince me it's not true

still immature of me but i heavily avoid going for nasty comments when i'm arguing with someone so i don't say something i'll regret

i'm avoiding him for the rest of the day because i know he won't apologize anyway

screams into a pillow

i'm the first anon who responded to you and i'm so sorry to hear that, anon. i really hope his attitude/behavior changes soon because he is indeed incredibly lucky to have you and his wife care enough to help at all.

but i'm glad you got to say what you felt due to his behavior, especially if he does hold grudges, maybe hearing that might change something. i also have someone like that in my life and it's never easy to deal with. and I admire you even more for not giving into nasty comments in the face of it.

i hope things get better for you, regardless. /hugs you across internet, space and time, etc

yeah way too many of my relatives go right for nasty comments when they fight with anyone, idk how they manage to have friends with that much toxicity. i have lots of trauma i don't share because i don't want to hand ammo to my dumpsterfire-kin fam

even when i say not-that-offensive stuff like that, i still feel bad. feels weird being one of the nicest people in my entire family tbh and i feel guilty about "Nice Guy thinking" by thinking that it's bs i don't get enough credit for that

my werewolf had a buttpuppy

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