rpanonmod ([personal profile] rpanonmod) wrote in [community profile] rpanons2016-06-13 06:38 pm

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ayrt

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
i've never seen anyone 'sneak it' the way rape anon insists they do, but hope springs eternal i suppose

i'm not going to argue with you on that because you're right, but that doesn't mean you can't make your preferences clear too. like the op said in their title, this refusal to communicate (see: i'm not going to tell you i'm not interested in your tag, i'm going to ignore it and make you guess if you did something wrong!) is where a lot of modern-day dwrp's problems come from

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not accusing people of sneaking, and you're right that a preference list helps, but in the absence of one (I've never made one, usually because I'm so indecisive on kinklists an I always feel like I'm forgetting one so I'd rather ass on the stress), one shouldn't assume noncon/dubcon is okay by default, and sometimes it feels like a lot of people DO, sneaky or not.

+1

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
it's not people "sneaking" it, it's people tagging me for smut with setups that make my character have to be an aggressor or a creep to make the smut happen. they're assuming by default that i'll be okay with playing dubcon or noncon, and they shouldn't.

Re: +1

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
if you don't say flat-out you're not interested in dubcon/noncon you don't have any room to whine when this happens

what part of "people aren't mind readers" is so hard to understand in this hobby?

da

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 03:52 am (UTC)(link)
because rapekink shouldn't be something that defaults to ok? are you fucking kidding me?

you're right, people aren't mindreaders, but holy shit, you should not just assume strangers are okay with rape scenarios, you mental midget

+100000

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
jesus christ

Re: da

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
did i say strangers or anyone should be okay with rape scenarios? way to jump to conclusions as you do, rapenon

if ayrt's partner is fishing for rape, they're in the wrong. but ayrt is also in the wrong for doing the exact same thing -- not stating what they're after right out the gate

Re: da

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
if they said they were after smut (and from the sound of it made it pretty clear it was going to be consensual), no they're not in the wrong for some fucking walnut assuming that meant a rape scenario was a-okay without asking first.

people who want to play this shit need to be asking others first. period.

Re: da

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
they said flat-out they don't have a permissions post and they never said no noncon-dubcon

you can feel however you want to feel about noncon/dubcon, but if you don't make your feelings known (on your actual journal, not on anon spaces) no one is going to know

so yeah, it's her fault too. you having a hardon for dubcon/noncon players doesn't change that both players in this made the same mistake

Re: da

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
what part of "someone who wants to play rape needs to ask first" because it's fucking rape do you not understand?

it doesn't matter if OP had a permission post or kink list or whatever. hell, it wouldn't even matter if they hadn't already established there was going to be mutual attraction, as they've said multiple times in this thread, the onus is still on you to ask first because it's fucking rape you artist.

Re: da

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
what part of "that's not the point being debated here" don't you understand?

something's not clicking in your skull. i haven't said once that op's partner is right. that's purely assumption on your part (ironically).

what i'm saying is that they need to be upfront too. dwrp is always a two-way street, even in instances like this. if you, me or anyone else doesn't make our desires clear, then we don't have any room to complain when other people come along wanting to play something we haven't yet said no to (or rather we can complain, but it doesn't amount to more than a hill of beans)

Re: da

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:12 am (UTC)(link)
they said flat-out they don't have a permissions post and they never said no noncon-dubcon

they never said yes either. that's pretty fucking important to playing any kink. not saying "no" does not automatically equal a "yes".

Re: da

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:20 am (UTC)(link)
No, it doesn't. And if their partner had sprung rape on them, I'd be right in the crowd with you tarring and feathering them

but they haven't. this isn't kayvin with his predatory lesbians or selwyn dropping trou and flat-out begging for rapecock. this is, until we get proof to the contrary, two rpers misfiring on each other. maybe op's partner wants rape. maybe they don't. maybe they don't even want smut

the point is, if both players were communicating none of this would be a problem. both, not just op and not just mystery partnernon.

dddda

(Anonymous) - 2016-06-16 04:25 (UTC) - Expand

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+1

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
this just shows why the anon is into rape kink. apparently they think that a lack of no means yes.

+1

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+1

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Re: +1

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
look. even putting aside whether rape kink "should" be default or not, i wouldn't want to play with anyone who treated it as such. you know why? because of threads like this.

if you're into rape kink, that's totally fine, but if you lack the foresight to realize that some people are going to throw shitfits about it or may even be legitimately triggered by it (it does happen), i don't want to play with you, because that shows a SERIOUS lack of ability to see beyond what gets you hot.

-1

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 03:57 am (UTC)(link)
i feel like dubcon/noncon should be a thing you ask for, not assume.

-1

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
EVERYTHING should be asked for rather than assumed

that's why both players are wrong here, op also assumed (a more socially acceptable assumption, but still an assumption)

Re: -1

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
op here and i thought it was a pretty fair assumption to make, considering i've already said we discussed it a few times and every chat made it sound like there would be mutual attraction and consensual hooking up

Re: -1

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
you're right, op. it IS a pretty fair assumption

but it's still an assumption

just message them. no one else can tell you what they want out of a scene but them.

Re: -1

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:12 am (UTC)(link)
i don't see how i'm unreasonable here, but okay, shame on me for assuming a scene would have elements in it that we specifically discussed being there

and also as i already said, we will be having a talk about our threads

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da

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dda

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
you mean the OP assumed their partner wouldn't spring a rape scenario on them without asking first? truly they are the devil itself.

Re: dda

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
op is right above, so why not ask them if their mysterious partner sprung a rape scenario on them during any of their multiple scenes?

i think if they did we'd be hearing about it

Re: dda

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
if the other player won't let their character into a smut situation without coercion of somekind, that's springing a rape scenario.

are you the OP's partner? you are super defensive about this.

Re: dda

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Re: +1

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
because unlikely the kinks themselves, consent to playing them is pretty much essential

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) 2016-06-16 09:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Then you're lucky, or you're not playing a character type who attracts these sorts of players. It happens a lot.