next time i'm sticking to my antisocial ways

[socksuke_uchiha]

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Comments

Re: LETTERS YOU'LL NEVER SEND

[(Anonymous)]

This reads so much like someone who used me... and with the same amount of spin doctoring they put into it then as well. You might not be them, but damn this reads like such bad twisting of everything to make yourself smell like roses when you smelled like shit then.

Re: LETTERS YOU'LL NEVER SEND

[(Anonymous)]

The last thing they told me was basically "seek therapy," which the way it was phrased seemed like they were just trying to get rid of me.

anon, based on this small thread, "seek therapy" is very good advice however they phrased it. by your first post it sounds like you weren't actually friends with this person (yet), but you were talking about trauma enough that they clearly felt they couldn't handle it. a therapist could help you avoid that kind of situation in the first place, as well as figure out how to talk about trauma without draining your friends or acquaintances.

tl;dr hope it gets better for you, but if people who aren't online randoms tell you to seek therapy, they probably mean it

Re: LETTERS YOU'LL NEVER SEND

[(Anonymous)]

sweet baby jesus im not reading alla that

Re: LETTERS YOU'LL NEVER SEND

[(Anonymous)]

nobody is making you

Re: LETTERS YOU'LL NEVER SEND

[(Anonymous)]

a couple of anons give you low-effort low-engagement mildly negative responses and you write nine paragraphs in response sharing all these intimate details of your situation?

you already modcalled for a comment to be deleted because you were worried you overshared, why would you come back here and do it again more? do you really hate the idea of being misunderstood so much that you have to take this much time to correct misinterpretations of your og comment?

you were absolutely and completely in the right, the other person treated you awfully during a hard time, you never did or said anything wrong, and when they dipped it was absolutely not your fault just because they sucked. is that what you want to hear from us?

honestly, this tendency to overshare more and more to desperately try to get us to see it your way and provide the response that will make you feel better is also a really unattractive trait in a friend, and one i've been on the other side of.

Re: LETTERS YOU'LL NEVER SEND

[(Anonymous)]

sa also to add-

it does sound like your past friend might have had bad boundaries? but "you can tell me anything" isn't like, a prescriptivist ultimatum. it can just mean "i don't have any triggers/squicks and i don't mind being someone you reach out to on personal issues" but you're still expected to judge for yourself things like: we're watching a nice movie together and talking about baked goods, i shouldn't suddenly bring up my childhood trauma; it's 3am before they have an important exam and this isn't an emergency, i'll sleep on it and talk to them later; i have come to this person every day for a month and need to spread the burden of caring for me among other people.

new friends aren't going to come out the gate with granular boundaries about the appropriate time, place, capacity, etc, you're expected to think about that stuff too.

Re: LETTERS YOU'LL NEVER SEND

[(Anonymous)]

damn that person didn't just dodge a bullet, they dodged a nuclear warhead

you need to not be in this hobby, if one friendly acquaintanceship turned sour by your own doing is enough to stick with you for years after the fact

Re: LETTERS YOU'LL NEVER SEND

[(Anonymous)]

Oversharing like this can often stem from anxiety. OP I don't know if this is the case with you. I don't know your entire situation or everything that went down. I only know your side of it. But what I do know is that I have been on both sides of oversharing and I felt like shit every time, and no amount of trying to over explain yourself to a bunch of strangers on rpanons is going to help you or give you what you seek.

Feeling dismissed when you're going through something like grief feels terrible and I'm sorry that happened to you. You don't seem like a terrible person, but I am being 100% sincere when I say I think you would benefit from therapy. You need to find the validation you need in yourself and be able to convince yourself that your feelings are valid. Even if we were to agree with what you said, it would only be a bandaid. At the very least, it sucks to have a bad association with something as serious as grief, and therapy could help you hopefully heal from that and move on.

I hope you can heal and move on.