next time i'm sticking to my antisocial ways

[socksuke_uchiha]

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Comments

Re: LETTERS YOU'LL NEVER SEND

[(Anonymous)]

a couple of anons give you low-effort low-engagement mildly negative responses and you write nine paragraphs in response sharing all these intimate details of your situation?

you already modcalled for a comment to be deleted because you were worried you overshared, why would you come back here and do it again more? do you really hate the idea of being misunderstood so much that you have to take this much time to correct misinterpretations of your og comment?

you were absolutely and completely in the right, the other person treated you awfully during a hard time, you never did or said anything wrong, and when they dipped it was absolutely not your fault just because they sucked. is that what you want to hear from us?

honestly, this tendency to overshare more and more to desperately try to get us to see it your way and provide the response that will make you feel better is also a really unattractive trait in a friend, and one i've been on the other side of.

Re: LETTERS YOU'LL NEVER SEND

[(Anonymous)]

sa also to add-

it does sound like your past friend might have had bad boundaries? but "you can tell me anything" isn't like, a prescriptivist ultimatum. it can just mean "i don't have any triggers/squicks and i don't mind being someone you reach out to on personal issues" but you're still expected to judge for yourself things like: we're watching a nice movie together and talking about baked goods, i shouldn't suddenly bring up my childhood trauma; it's 3am before they have an important exam and this isn't an emergency, i'll sleep on it and talk to them later; i have come to this person every day for a month and need to spread the burden of caring for me among other people.

new friends aren't going to come out the gate with granular boundaries about the appropriate time, place, capacity, etc, you're expected to think about that stuff too.