socksuke_uchiha ([personal profile] socksuke_uchiha) wrote in [community profile] rpanons2024-03-02 04:52 pm

something big going down in clown town

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op

(Anonymous) 2024-03-20 05:54 pm (UTC)(link)
i feel that way because it reflects my experience. i've seen people both here and on my plurk friend list react negatively and interpret remarks on speed in/compatibility as commentary on them, their commitment to the hobby, their rl and their time management. it's a topic that seems to touch nerves more often than saying we're incompatible because of differences in the canons or scenarios we like to play. you're right that we're all different, but personal experience encouraged me to try a vaguer 'it's not you, it's me, our styles don't mesh' approach first. unfortunately, it doesn't seem to have worked, but like other anons have pointed out, i may have to try honesty while being factual and keeping things short and hopefully kind.

da

(Anonymous) 2024-03-20 07:50 pm (UTC)(link)
anon, I wouldn't find it offensive and I warn people about my schedule when they hit me up because I know different speeds can tank interest pretty easily

and I'm not saying this to say 'omg my experience is different, you're wrong!!!' but rather to point out that if there's a lot of people on rpa who wouldn't be offended, and 100% of the people you dealt with were fucking offended, that might be a sign you might want to have a trusted friend read your response before you send it to this random person because it's not something inherent to speed issues

Re: da

(Anonymous) 2024-03-20 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
i've never had to bring up speed with a rp thread partner in this way before. it's mostly my perception that this is a generally more sensitive issue with rpers after seeing how some conversations went down here and on my plurk friend list, where people were discussing the topic being raised with them by others. this rper has been nothing but exceptionally friendly otherwise, so i could be completely off base in my expectations. i've sent them a reply after everyone's earlier encouragement, so i'll see how they take it.

Re: da

(Anonymous) 2024-03-20 09:17 pm (UTC)(link)
yeah lmf, I was trying to very politely say that if you regularly have problems with this sort of thing (bringing up something a lot of people think is nbd and offending people) that the problem might be with how you talk to people, not that the subject is some universal sore spot that pisses off everyone

if they aren't offended, then cool, I'm off base, disregard; if they flip out then maybe keep that in mind and find someone you can trust for advice, instead of assuming speed issues piss off everyone universally

Re: da

(Anonymous) 2024-03-21 07:50 pm (UTC)(link)
i don't get the feeling op means they've offended people just have seen others offended. i have definitely seen some anons here get defensive about their tag speed and have accused people with different paces of being overinvested

that's still likely not everyone but a vocal minority can skew someone's perception, especially if they're seeing comments about it in two different places