rpanons | we can cuddle and have deep convos about our trauma

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tale as old as time: after months of playing together, my rp partner has cooled on me while furiously boomeranging threads of the same otp with another person. i volunteered to terminate our threads once it seemed like their appetite had dried out, but they've repeatedly cited rl and urged me to keep playing with them, as it's apparently one of their few sources of ongoing joy. i'm now awkwardly stuck receiving unenthusiastic tags once a week and guilt tripped whenever i try to put an end to things and move on. it's sapping my confidence in my playing and inevitably making me begrudge my rp partner a little. i just want to focus my efforts elsewhere without being a villain, just as they clearly are.

so end it. don't reply to their tags. if they demand a reason why, just tell them you aren't feeling it anymore. you don't owe them a huge explanation.

i've been trying to avoid doing this, as i figured after a few months it's good to give things proper closure oocly, but i'm really starting to see no way forward beyond ghosting their thread and hoping they don't pursue me oocly about it.

never volunteer to drop a thread, only say you've moved on and are dropping the thread. don't put it on the other person to okay dropping it. ime when i've done that, i've run into the exact same problem as you. here's the truth: the person probably wants to play with you but their brainworms are focused elsewhere or they're stuck on the thread. you two hit a slow patch they're not into but they don't know how to move things forward or change the scene until they find their footing again. the other thread is easier, so they're tagging that instead of trying to figure out how to move your thread forward.

work out a skip, start a new thread, or stop responding to the thread. if they won't work things out and they won't accept you telling them you wanna drop it, then stop tagging back. if they poke after a while say you've been busy, it should fizzle and if it doesn't just say you lost interest and have moved on.

i'm sorry for not articulating clearly on that point - by volunteering, i didn't mean i asked if we were good to drop the thread, i actively told them i was going to do so on my end (i felt that after a few months of threading, ghosting would be rude). but they started guilt tripping.

da, the next time you try to drop threads with them, tell them how you feel, provide examples to support your claims so they can't hide behind sobbing you're being mean, get their ass if they try to guilt trip you, and stick to your guns

Give them as much as they give you. If they get mad about it, that's a red flag, and not just in rp.

i think you're right. i need to shrug off the guilting.

As someone who dealt with something similar, the best thing you can do is move forward - dont respond to their tags. If they do want to keep playing with you, say you'd like new threads because you've moved on from the current threads, and have them write the starters. Chances are high they won't want to put the effort in.

Put your energy in other threads, just like they're doing, and if they try to confront you about any of that, you can tell them how you feel (though I advise caution in this, sometimes people will not handle honesty well, especially in this situation) or you can just redirect the conversation.

i might just try wordlessly fizzling out of our threads and see if they bring it up. would be nice to get a 'and then they realized the error of their ways, begged forgiveness, became the best rp partner in the world AND EVERYONE GOT UP AND CLAPPED' moment, but i'll settle for just not getting another PSA that i'm purposefully removing one of the few fun things left to them while they're already dealing with RL, if i stop tagging them.

If they do that try that manipulation tactic on you, please understand that you aren't their fun dispenser, and you aren't the bad guy, no matter how much they complain or cry at you. Their passive aggressive bullshit is just an attempt at keeping you shackled to them. You deserve better treatment than that. For what it's worth, I do hope you don't get that PSA because it's hard to deal with.

Wishing you the best, OP!!

thanks so much. i've just reread my own woe post with fresh eyes today, and i sound so miserable and over things that i know, if it were a friend commenting this, i'd tell them to walk away from the situation and reconsider their relationship with this thread partner. so i think i'll take all your advice on this.

this is such good advice, I'm going to put it into action myself with someone doing this to me too. unfortunately I didn't even get months of boomerang tags, I got one month and then a bunch of dropped threads.

I'm sorry anon. That does hurt, even/especially with it it being only one month. Sometimes people get obsessed with new shinies and move on quickly.

Moving on from people who aren't putting in any effort with you is the best way to recover, I've found. It hurts and it sucks. But you aren't the bad guy for redirecting your energy!

Wishing you the best, anon. There are people here in solidarity with you.

we can cuddle and have deep convos about our trauma

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