rpanons | Help! My rp partner hasn't invited me to play our OTP in their game! (´･ω･`)

Help! My rp partner hasn't invited me to play our OTP in their game! (´･ω･`)

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I don't even think self-inserting is inherently bad all the time, but dreamwidth heavily looks down on it and it's a pain in the ass for community rp

you can safely explore those things in fic as opposed to inflicting them on others in a potentially harmful way. when you have actual autistic and trans people saying no thanks to these headcanons, in this very thread even, maybe you should respect their rights and their boundaries.

anons in this thread who want to know how to respect someone's boundaries: the above is an example of how NOT to do it

"oh what's next the ~purity police" tells me you're not interested in doing anything in good faith, anon

plus if you want to self insert you can just make an OC and nobody will realise or care that it's a self insert unless it's really obvious or badly written

when it's about slapping a trope or a label on a canon character is when it becomes fetishistic and problematic

looking down on shitty headcanons that make zero sense =/= purity police

to this day i have never seen a "good faith effort" of a trans headcanon that isn't gross fetishizing and i don't expect that to change anytime soon, never mind how people still use autistic slurs like it's the funniest thing ever so i don't trust anyone to handle that respectfully either

if they complain after the warning THEN it's on them, you fucking idiot.

it's really telling what the priorities are for these people when there are hardly any canon (or even OC) trans or autistic characters being played on dwrp, even though there are plenty of both to choose from in a wide variety of media

if you're so desperate to pick up this sort of canon character, ask for recommendations to find one that suits you and play them

it's a pain in the ass in this specific context for these specific kinds of headcanons because i'm not here to be an unwitting participant while someone "works themselves out" through rp

if you want ~therapy rp~ there are dozens of other venues for that where people expect and anticipate that social conduct and context

like another anon said i don't even mind self-insertion to a small degree--plenty of irl friends i know are characters in of themselves, and have a whacky weird history worthy of any serialized/published whacky weird character in fiction. art imitates life, life imitates art, etc.

i draw the line when the self-insertion impacts other people and you can't separate the two, ie you start having meltdowns because someone doesn't want to fuck your character or something.

you can put yourself in a character, that can and does make for good writing and relatable characters and stories, just know how to take yourself out when it matters and remember it's not reality.

the excuse i usually see is that canon trans or autistic characters are often written in an offensive way, which isn't necessarily false, but instead of trying to pick them up and attempt a meaningful arc with them they just slap labels on characters it doesn't even make sense for.

like, if you're talking over actual autistic and trans people telling you this is a bad idea? sorry, but you are definitely the asshole here.

That's a neat little package except for the part where most of the people I've ever heard wanting to do headcanons like this are also trans and/or autistic. In which case it's really just trans people bossing around other trans people which is very different from what you're portraying.

yep.

the irony of it is how these headcanons often end up just as if not more offensive than anything I've ever seen in actual canon. they usually don't bother thinking about how being trans or neuroatypical would impact a character from the ground up and just have them obsess over dysphoria or stimming like that's the be all and end all of those experiences.

this is all that needs to be said imo. please for the love of god do not use rp as therapy, at least not here. it just leads to weird behavior and a lack of ic/ooc divide.

then write fic. you get to explore whatever you want without inflicting yourself on anyone who doesn't want to be exposed to it.

seriously, every time this argument comes up, y'all insist it has to be rp or bust. like you're entitled to forcing the community into accepting whatever offensive bullshit you come up with lest they be accused of being the ~purity police~ or being so mean and intolerant weh weh!!

no one's saying you can't express yourself. but using someone as your personal therapy session is not, and has never been, okay here.

below thread is why

because a large portion of the playerbase here is on one spectrum or another, and it skews heavily lgbtq+, we're very, very sensitive to headcanons dealing with those things, as they almost always seem fetishizing, and can trigger discomfort or even dysmorphia in people. they are generally not welcome in games, but there's nothing stopping you from using them in memes or seeking out psls. you will be fishing from a smaller pool of potential rper partners as they are not popular takes, but it's not outright banned.

"dwrp is a refuge for people who don't want to have to deal with them"

a refuge? seriously? how is "communicate with your rp partners" not good enough in this situation? you tell them: "hey, i headcanon this character as trans for x, y, z reasons. would it be alright if i put that into this thread?" they say: "no, but thanks for checking in with me." you say: "okay, sounds good!" and move on. how is this an interaction we need refuge from?

sa

also it's worth keeping in mind that most rpers on this site do not come to this anon community, and the response here is always going to have a heavy degree of outlier asshole factor due to the anonymous nature.

what i find it a bit difficult to wrap my head around is this attitude of, "if you don't think about this MY way, clearly you're not doing right," towards people who may themselves also be trans or autistic. i can think of plenty of reasons why people would rather work with a character that isn't presented in canon as a caricature of an identity that is important to them, as opposed to rehabilitating the caricature.

because that experience is rare in fandom (not just rp) and most people who play these headcanons are not that socially aware or courteous, anon

how many times does it need to be said that it's always done in a gross fetishy way

slapping top surgery scars on Tony Stark because he's your comfort character isn't "working" with anything, anon

plenty of trans and autistic people also have legitimate problems with these headcanons and are almost always shouted down by people like you every time we point out that we're uncomfortable

at the end of the day there are plenty of places where those headcanons are not only acceptable but welcomed. DWRP is one of the few fandom communities where they're not. if you absolutely must use those headcanons, go elsewhere

da

communication fucking sucks on this website, but it's really not that hard to express your preference against rping trans headcanons without denying the possibility of rping those headcanons to other trans people. you sound as if the sheer possibility of running into these headcanons on this website is the issue because you expect it to turn into a therapy session. that's a valid concern, but if your rp sessions turn into therapy, it's not because of the trans headcanon. it's because your rp partner is shit at the ic/ooc divide.

every character i rp is trans you just don't know about it

i will deny shitty trans headcanons all day long, thanks

signed, another trans person who is fucking sick of this stupid argument

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Help! My rp partner hasn't invited me to play our OTP in their game! (´･ω･`)

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