he neEds To taKe cAre of tHe mEMes whiLe tHat MaSTer is aWay

[socksuke_uchiha]

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Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Man I just really wish I knew how to cultivate RP friendships with people. I feel like I forgot how to do it.

[(Anonymous)]

same, anon

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Same feel anon. I have plenty of acquaintances but few people I would call good friends on this site.

[(Anonymous)]

Every time I drop a game, all of my 'friendships' dry up, even when we seem to get along well and chat often...oh well.

[(Anonymous)]

same. i thought i had a few really good friendships but turns out it was only because we had similiar interests at the time. one of those who i thought was a friend legit said to me that she never knew what to say to me because i didn't like the same stuff she did anymore as if it was my fault? when... i'm still into the same stuff?

idk it kind of hurt. like i'd drop everything if we were chatting on aim/discord/whatever and she said she was having a bad day but i guess that means fuck all. i feel like i'm often more a friend to people when it's convenient. like... i have people who have been on my tl for forever but don't really rp with msg me out of the blue because they want to app to a new game and i guess because i'm a teacher they want me to proof read their apps? um.

i try to reach out to people but idk... maybe i've been burned so many times (i've also had some of the worst manipulative wankers who've been name-dropped on here as ~friends so that doesn't help).

[(Anonymous)]

RPers generally don't seem to want friendships, so much as fun dispensers. The second the mutual interest dries up, they stop caring because the magic's gone. It's rare to find people who actually care about you as a person in this hobby, particularly since we all spend so much time pretending to be other people. As DWRP's gotten older, that's gotten worse as everyone's established a comfort zone that they don't break too far out of.

You have to separate the people who give a shit from the ones who are just acquaintances, and there's not an easy way to do that.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

"fun dispensers". Yep.

I've honestly cut my "friends list" down by half and I feel better nowadays. I'm interested in having actual friends, not 100+ mere acquaintances.

I had enough of the bullshit.

[(Anonymous)]

it takes work and a lot of people don't want to put in the work.

like any friendship, it takes actually giving a shit about other people, making the effort to express that you give a shit, and sitting through a lot of boring small talk before you hit on a topic or dynamic where you really click and just want to sit and shoot the breeze all night. see also: above threads mentioning that no one talks socially on plurk anymore. it takes time, which is hard on people who aren't naturally scintillating and draw 300 comments to their plurk/discord anytime they fart and giggle about it. it's easy to envy those people but there's no formula for emulating how they go about attracting attention.

[(Anonymous)]

I recently realized it was because I had put up so many walls over the years, no one could see past them anymore.

I opened up once in a way I hadn't for a long time (because let's just say a two year long depression + seeing everyone on your timeline getting replies on memes and things while only you don't does not help a shaky self-esteem nor does two-faced people dragging you on anon or consistently vagueing about you... until it chased away a very patient friend of mine, so I wound up clamming up), and found that a very new castmate from a fandom and rp I just joined became very close and talks with me a lot now! Even though we were only in a game together for a few weeks at best. Compared to folks I had added and played with for months who never got to know me and therefore, easily dropped me...

It's amazing how much just trusting people a little more and letting them know who you are and what you're dealing with can do. Maybe that's part of why we had better luck when we were younger, with this sort of thing?

While I get attached to people very easily, I have gotten rather cynical and started approaching dwrp with an "I'm not here to make friends" mentality to avoid losing one-sided friendships, but sometimes, you strike gold.

Hang in there, anon! ♥ I hope you meet more people who are also looking for a friend, it helps if you both have interests shared outside of rp (like art, you can help each other improve)!

[(Anonymous)]

I always just remind myself that you can't force it. So even though I may not be talking to people as often as I'd like, it's more sincere when I do.

... Which isn't exactly a solution, but it keeps me feeling good.