rpanons | The mysterious depths of his manly cave

The mysterious depths of his manly cave

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fandom/rp-related or not, rant here. bad crit is fine too.

whether it's "please watch my canon! it gets better 20 episodes in! you need to give it a 5th chance!" or "i read online that yoga cures cancer, you should try it! why aren't you trying it?! you must not care about curing your cancer if you won't try it!"

"I know you're really anxious about [thing], but try not to dwell on it! Just think how much better you'll feel when it's over!"

yes, i am thinking literally all day about how much better i'll feel when it's over, that's why i'm anxious

"you just need to smile more often!"

an actual suggestion i've gotten for my depression, from somebody who doesn't have any chronic health problems.

SINGLE MOM FINDS CURE FOR DEPRESSION, DOCTORS HATE HER!

honestly, the part that annoys me the most is that often, it isn't that the suggestions are bad. if you're depressed, then yes, exercise, eating better, going outside, tidying your living space, and yes, even smiling more* can seriously help.

but all of that ignores the core problem of depression, which is a lack of motivation to do just about anything, combined with all sorts of feelings of worthlessness, sadness, and so on and so forth. and the people who so helpfully suggest these things just often don't consider that, or don't see how it's a problem that can actually keep someone from doing what they consider a 'simple' thing.

* smiling more fosters brief positive social interactions, even with shop assistants or other strangers, and while that's not therapy or medication, it can (at least temporarily) lift a person's spirit – obviously, it's not an instant cure for depression

anon below with chronic illnesses here.

yeah, the worst thing about simple advice is that people think that "curing" depression/arthritis/whatever is JUST! THAT!! SIMPLE!!! big pharma is lying to you so they can sell you their drugs, yadda yadda yadda. and like i said below, they seem to think chronic illnesses are no big deal, like depression is just being sad because somebody took the last piece of pizza and you get over it in 20 minutes because pizza's not that big of a deal.

i've tried yoga, it doesn't really help and it hurts because of the allodynia from fibromyalgia. i walk a dog, it just tires me out and makes me wish i should've stayed home. i don't want to try acupuncture, PAIN is a big part of my fibromyalgia and i'm afraid of needles, it sounds very painful. my health programs altogether contribute to my depression, and more, it's not like i'm taking artificial happiness pills because i'm too lazy to smile.

even if i've done it everyday for weeks, i'm just "not doing it right", "i didn't do it long enough", or "i don't care enough about getting better." what the fuck do you (general you) know? you don't have depression or fibromyalgia or any of this bullshit, or a medical degree, fuck off with your dr. google shit. i try to explain to some of these people about what i'm going through but it just goes in one ear and out the other, and i hate it.

(sorry if i come off as angry, i'm angry at the people with suggestions, not you.)

"oh, i heard you're coming down with a cold? take a bunch of vitamin c!"

bitch vitamin c does literally shit all for colds, flus, or any kind of illness. it's bullshit pseudoscience placebo stuff, and yet, no matter how many times i tell people "no, i'm not gonna do something that's going to do Literally Nothing for my illness," i get a bunch of "oh but just try it anyway. maybe your doctor is totally wrong and i know so much more about curing colds than they do."

I slam down VC when I start feeling sick. I get a cold once a year or less, generally.

I am gonna recommend it to friends of mine who get sick on a monthly basis if they don't do it. Even if it's just placebo, it's clearly doing something for me.

it's definitely placebo or just the fact that you've got a better constitution than your sicklier friends. your body needs just a very little bit of vitamin c to survive and you just pee the rest out, none of it sticks around. i tend to be a sickly person, and before i used to take tons of vc just to appease family members who would ply me with it nonstop when i got sick. surprise, no difference at all, and now that i've got a doctor's confirmation that it does nothing and stopped taking it, i still get people nagging at me to drink orange juice or some bullshit cause it'll cure my flu

stop being such a weakling i guess

1. as an anon with chronic illnesses, i get a lot of dumb "i googled this" suggestions, especially from a relative of mine who insists that i, a fucking computer whiz, shouldn't believe everything i read on the internet. she acts like i've never tried googling my health problems before for ways to treat them. she'll whine at me about how i should try this or that, but then she gives me shit because i bought a product that helps but doesn't cure it. "why'd you waste your money on it then?" because... it's better than nothing? there's no fucking cure yet and treatment =/= cure!

another relative brainwashed her into thinking that "marijuana cures everything!" so now i get to deal with both of them whining at me to 420 BLAZE IT because my medications have SERIOUS SIDE EFFECTS, big pharma, wah wah wah. now, i'm all for legalizing it, but i have my own reasons for not wanting to smoke weed. like the fact that i can't fucking afford it, the fact that i don't like the taste/smell, the fact that i need to find another job soon and don't want to fail a drug test... fuck off, guys, seriously.

i'm dreading the day when these guys finally turn anti-vaxxer and tell me i should avoid those dirty, dirty needles and rub snake oil all over my skin instead.

2. fuck all the people on old atp who would ignore half of my prefs to suggest games to me. if i only want to join a game that's on dw, no exceptions, don't recommend something on ij. maybe your character fits well in a sex game, but the character you want me to app is the monogamous type who would be devoted to their partner. "i think your character would be fun to have!" means nothing if i don't think it would be fun.

3. sort of related to #2... if i say "recommend me something, no anime/manga though" or "recommend me anything but thatdwrpgame", don't get on my fucking ass about how i'm a big meanieface hater who's probably obsessed with the medium divide or i secretly hate a game's mods.

i don't hate anime, i'm actually a huge weeaboo and i'm trying to expand my interests to canons outside of anime. i don't hate thatdwrpgame either. maybe i've already played there, maybe it's not a good fit for me, maybe there's somebody there i don't want to deal with, maybe i keep getting it recommended to me even though it doesn't fucking fit my prefs, maybe you should shut the fuck up and mind your own business.

My god anon I feel you on 1. I wonder if we have similar chronic illnesses? Regardless, yeah. I'm fucking tired of people telling me to do yoga because Google says it works miracles

oh, you know... fibromyalgia (chronic pain, allodynia, fatigue, joint/nerve pain), mental illnesses, insomnia, maybe endometriosis or pcos (and i get anemic during my period a lot), mild scoliosis/back pain, some skin issues, asthma caused by chemical exposure... mostly invisible shit. what problems do you deal with, anon?

here are some examples of "amazing solutions/cures" that i've gotten:

literally everything: yoga, exercise, gluten-free diet, some other stupid fad diet, marijuana, homeopathy, herbal supplements, acupuncture, other "alternative" medicine bullshit
fibromyalgia: ibuprofen, tylenol, every other otc pain killer, "don't think about it"
mental illness: just smile more! stop worrying! go outside and get some sun even though it's fucking snowing right this minute! get more sleep!
insomnia: stop staying up so late! (my main problem is that it's hard for me to get to sleep in the first place, and then my fibromyalgia wakes me up in the middle of the night)
menstrual bullshit: it's probably your depression so stop being sad! take birth control even though it makes you bedridden! i want grandchildren! cramps and bleeding is normal, don't worry about it!
back bullshit: stretch more!
skin bullshit: wear gloves so your skin doesn't dry and crack in the winter! my skin is fine, you must be exaggerating!
asthma: do breathing exercises! exercise more so your lungs get used to breathing! it's probably just because you're overweight!

also, if something doesn't work for me, i'm clearly doing it wrong, i haven't tried it long enough for it to start working, or i'm not taking enough "good" pills (otc pain killers and herbal supplements), even if i'm taking the maximum dosage. most of the people whining at me don't have any of these health problems, by the way! or if they do, it's mild joint pain or skin issues. it's like they think that insomnia means "i stay up late playing games on my phone sometimes" or depression is "somebody ate the last piece of pizza and it made me sad."

if i'm not getting shitty advice, i'm usually treated like it's impossible for me to have health problems because i'm so young (mid-20's)! :'''''''')

That sucks bro. I suffer from Lupus, Rhumetoid Arthritis, anxiety, and on and off depression with some other odds and ends tossed in there. The latter two definitely symptoms of the first two. While I did lose weight to ease some of the pressure on my joints and just because I wanted to, the amount of "you need to eat clean, non processed, organic foods because it'll help" or "do yoga every day to stretch out your joints" or "you sit around too much".... god. Now it all just infuriates me.

Worst of it is that the medication I take suppresses my immune system, so I'm always getting sick, and because I'm always getting sick I keep getting told to take vitamins and work out more to build up my immune system. Bitch, which part of THIS SUPPRESSES MY IMMUNE SYSTEM do you not understand, it's the whole problem!

i actually have a few relatives with rheumatoid arthritis but they think i'm just making shit up for free ssi bux. i've done a few blood tests for it over the years but i don't seem to have... whatever they check for, idr what.

shit, i forgot about the "eat non-processed organic foods" suggestions. i only remembered the gluten free because it's such an annoying fucking fad. my hours got cut after the holidays, guys, how do you expect me to afford all of this expensive shit? are you donating to my hypothetical patreon? no? okay, fuck off then.

it's really fucking annoying when people try to find a way to blame me for my health problems too. i seemed to have mild symptoms of fibro since my junior year of high school but then it turned into full-blown fibro after a very stressful time in my life. how the fuck is that my fault? i developed asthma after a relative misused the fuck out of pesticides. how the fuck is that my fault? i've always had insomnia, even if i go months without drinking soda, avoid screens for a few hours before bed, or try to fall asleep at the same time everyday. how the fuck is that my fault?

i also get to deal with the catch-22 of "stop talking about your health problems, you're making me depressed!" and "how am i supposed to know you're sick if you don't say anything?" you shut me down and call me a crybaby every fucking time i say i'm in too much pain to do something, what do you expect?!

Wow, that's shitty of them?? Why would you lie about pain for bux. Especially if they have RA? It may have been the factor or whatever, or maybe the level of inflammation. Plus, there's mild RA to severe -- mine's severe, if i skip a dose of my shots (i have to inject) my fucking joints start to misalign. which could be a combo thing with the lupus? I also have raynaud's disease which pops up during fucking cold months and AC too.

It's such BS, dude. None of that's your fault. And... like, for real, are we just supposed to eat bananas until we fucking die? If I treat myself to a can of soda it's "oh no what are you doing :( that's not good for your illnesses :( it's processed :( you have to drink water only water and do yoga :(" lmfao i can not

Ah yeah Ive heard that one too. "I don't know how to help you, so I feel sad and awkward when you mention you're in pain" uhhhh well you ask me how I'm feeling and I answer according to how i... feel. and lmao have you gotten the "you have to rise above it!" speech? "you have to work twice as hard to be active and healthy! don't let your pain keep you from doing things that cause more pain!"

hey, anon, they're OLD (40+), THEY know what REAL pain is like! don't you know that young people don't have real health problems?! /s. they're the same people who assume that you don't deal with "real" stress if you don't have kids, loads of bills to pay, etc. would i be going to multiple appointments every month and paying out the ass for medicare bills (monthly premiums and co-pays) if i wasn't sick?!

i actually lost medicare recently (tl;dr: on the disabled adult child program and dad got kicked off for some weird reason, me being eligible is contingent on him being eligible) and some of my relatives act like my health problems aren't a big deal because i'm still alive after 3 months of not being able to take medication! fuck you, i've been trying to reapply for medicaid and they've been dicking me around for bullshit reasons. i finally admitted myself to the er earlier this month and i got some treatment and 2 weeks worth of meds from a crisis center. some of my relatives are like "well, you got your meds! you're okay now, right?" and it's like... it takes fucking forever to get approved for medicaid, 2 weeks of meds isn't a lot! the crisis unit gave me some resources for low-income counseling centers but there's no guarantee that they can give me free meds. :/ a few of my medications were switched to cheaper alternatives and i can't even afford them without insurance! i'm broke!

one of my relatives actually texted me "i'm glad you're feeling better and got your meds! i emailed you about a place that's hiring, check it out!" it's something i'm not physically capable of doing. :/ and i honestly don't want to get a job, not be able to refill my meds, and then get so depressed and achey that i get fired. i can barely function at my office job!

omg, anon. :( you're not doing yoga every 5 minutes. :( or running marathons enough. :( or drinking enough holistic gluten-free organic water. :( or trying every alternative medicine thing in the book. :( DO :( YOU :( NOT :( WANT :( TO :( GET :( BETTER?!?!??!?!?! :( :( :(

yes, i've definitely gotten the "rise above it" speech. "you can't let your fibromyalgia run your life, anon!" yes, i know, and medications help with that, so stop whining about how fucking "dangerous" they are. there are no medications that won't give somebody on this planet side effects. ibuprofen has apparently been linked to heart disease, too much tylenol can kill your liver, aspirin can be dangerous for kids with viral infections, nyquil can apparently lead to hallucinations or seizures in high doses. fuck, everything's fucking dangerous! some people are allergic to peanuts, peanuts are evil! wait, wasn't there a girl who was allergic to water? water is evil too! you can crash a car and die, ban cars! like, come on... i deal with very few side effects, dealing with mild hand tremors is a lot fucking better than constant pain and misery. if i try out a medication and it gives me side effects i don't like, i stop taking it, simple.

have you gotten the "you shouldn't be putting so many chemicals in your body!" spiel? well, water's a chemical, can't have that dihydrogen monoxide shit. marijuana has chemicals, so bad! oxygen? also chemicals, much danger very deadly. apparently otc pain killers are acceptable... even though they have chemicals!!! milk has calcium. bananas have potassium! chemicals!!!!!!!

a few of them have actually bashed my medication because i'm not supposed to take alcohol with most of it... even though most people i know know that i can't stand the taste of alcohol even when it's mixed with a non-alcoholic drink. seriously, i'd rather spit it out than swallow it. having an excuse to refuse alcohol is a huge fucking pro for me!

I know it comes from a place of love, but I'd be perfectly content to never have to hear that all I need to do is bring my troubles to God. Unless he's hiring or dispensing antidepressants, you're not helping.

Disclaimer: If you want to pray for me, light a candle, do a spell, or send good vibes? That's awesome. I'm not a total asshole. Just... don't hear my problems, pat me on the head, and basically say "a little God'll do ya!"

not so much a suggestion but when i mention that i'm deaf people automatically assume i must know their third cousin's second wife who is also deaf! like maybe they don't assume I know them but uh... why bring it up at all?? i don't get it...

i could get it if i was like "help i am deaf idk what to do" "oh i'll put you in touch with my second cousin jimmy, he knows a deaf person"

someone told me it's to try to connect with cases like the one i'm annoyed by but it's still absolutely batty

they're just making conversation, anon. 'I'm deaf.' "Oh, I have a cousin who is.'

'I'm a novelist.' 'Oh, I have a cousin who is.'

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The mysterious depths of his manly cave

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