good luck to your dad on his path to downton abbey BNFdom

[rpanonyoda]

Rundown: rpanons is an anonymous community for role-play related topics. This place serves as a forum for game discussions, canon discussions, RP solicitations (ATP, game ads, open memes), and advice. The occasional off topic comment is inevitable, but please keep heated social and political topics to their respective communities. Posting them here will only get them frozen. Subsequent threads made to bypass a freeze will then be deleted.

Rules:

Do not post pornographic or shocking images.
Do not share private entries, plurks, chat logs, etc.
Do not use this community as your social/political/hatespeech soapbox.
Do not be redundant. One page does not need three or more threads on one topic/theme. Your unfunny, forced memes also fall under this rule.
Do not treat this comm like your personal therapist. Threads about nonfictional suicide, self injury, rape, and abuse will be deleted. There are better resources out there for you.
Do not treat this comm like your personal Plurk or Twitter. Off-topic happens, but it should be open for discussion and not just a play-by-play of your life. No one cares.
Shut up about Tumblr. If it's not a discussion about Tumblr RP it will be deleted.


CONCERNS | RESOURCES


Navigate:

Political topics are still banned. Report threads and they will be deleted.

LATEST PAGE | LATEST FLATVIEW PAGE

GAME DISCUSSIONS | CANON DISCUSSIONS

GAME ADVERTISEMENTS | TEST DRIVES | ATP/ENABLE ME

PB SUGGESTIONS | USERNAME SUGGESTIONS

GAME IDEAS | CHARACTER ADVICE | HTML/GRAPHIC HELP

RP WITH ME | KINKS YOU WANT TO PLAY | PAIRINGS YOU WANT TO PLAY

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Got a new RP partner about 2 months ago. Everything was fine and dandy and we were playing a ship out, when it suddenly stopped. Now this person just abruptly talks about their bad mood or how exhausted or depressed they are all the time and they aren't tagging anything. They haven't tagged for almost a month.

Like, I get it... but I also don't know this person. I wouldn't call us "friends". We're just rping together. I've tried comforting them before but it feels weird since we're basically strangers and the person didn't seem all that receptive to it anyway (no thank-you for commiserating or comforting, no real acknowledgement of it or anything.)

My question is, is it selfish of me to want to move on? It's a pretty rare pair so I don't think I'd be able to replace them quickly. Am I just being a shitty person here? Should I be waiting it out and offering a shoulder in the meantime, even if they just ignore it? I haven't had a situation like this in several years so I don't know what the best course of action would be.

[(Anonymous)]

honestly, i'd get out if i were you. you're not their friend, you're not their therapist, they can't even show the most basic amount of gratitude (i.e. a simple thank you), and they haven't done the thing you guys planned to do in a month. you have shown a lot of goodwill, moving on is beyond fine at this rate.

depending on the mode of communication you're sharing, you might want to send them a message (i'd do it if we've got each other added on plurk), though that could be fairly awkward if you had been using pms the whole time. either way, it wouldn't need to be anything fancy, just a "hey, i know you're having a hard time, if you want to continue our psl at some point in the future, you can always message me" – assuming that is something you would want.

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for the advice. I feel like an asshole since we've talked a bit beyond RP but... yeah, I'm getting a bit fed up with the melodrama. And I know I shouldn't expect gratitude but it's kind of annoying trying to comfort someone and getting no acknowledgement of it.

I'll consider moving on if this keeps up much longer. I'm already sort of distancing myself from them so.

[(Anonymous)]

if they're genuinely depressed then you shouldn't be expecting a thank you. that's not how depression works. if they're depressed then they already feel like shit and trying to cheer them up is likely to make them feel guilty for wasting your time too.

that said, if you're disappointed at the lack of gratitude or that they're 'stuck' in this state, it might be best to move on. sometimes people can slip back into heavy states of depression; this person could be this way for a while. as you said, you're not very close and it sounds like you're only interested in the rp side of things?

which isn't an accusation btw. i'm not saying it's a bad thing. this is a hobby and like the other anon said, you are not their therapist and it isn't your job to lift them up. so if you're fine with moving on and you're done with waiting, i'd say move on.

or at least limit contact for a while. cut back, or whatever. don't expect anything from them until they feel better. if that happens.

it's not selfish to want to move on. you're in this hobby to write and to have fun, i assume. if they're not writing, you don't need to stick around. some people like that can unfortunately be very draining.

[(Anonymous)]

I've had my RP partner for a few years now and sometimes I consider bailing. To say the tagging has grown lackluster would be an understatement and sometimes weeks will go by with no acknowledgment or explanation that tags or plotting are going to be slow for whatever reason. So I think that's a pretty natural reaction to want to get out of a relationship that's really based expressly on RPing.

If you do decide to move on, just don't be a jerk about it. Don't just disappear into the night. It's cruel and immature (I know because I did it once, for reasons similar to yours, back when I was a teenager. I'm pushing 30 now and it still bothers me).