socksuke_uchiha: (deflower me)
socksuke_uchiha ([personal profile] socksuke_uchiha) wrote in [community profile] rpanons2016-12-28 01:56 pm

Chicken tendies

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(Anonymous) 2017-01-06 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Same, anon. I'm lucky in the sense that my partner knows that there's a problem in our different levels of sex drive, but I can't tell if he knows how much it actually gets me down. I feel loved in a general though so I feel bad and selfish when I feel so bitter and sad about how little sex we have now.

Have you and your SO spoken about this in terms of finding out what might be at the core of your mismatch? I mean in a way that's open and doesn't immediately fall into one or both of your feeling guilty?

(Anonymous) 2017-01-07 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
"I feel loved in a general though so I feel bad and selfish when I feel so bitter and sad about how little sex we have now" same here, and it's hard, isn't it? mostly we're stellar, and good at working through other problems. we're also very physical in other ways, but it never, never turns into sex these days.

we've tried to talk it out. my so doesn't know what the problem is and can't seem to figure it out, so I can't do anything but offer patience and space...but it's been years of that approach with no progress.

we used to have really great sex, but my so's drive died off a few years ago. mine has decreased too, but my drive's always been reactive, so knowing my partner's not into it pretty much kills any arousal that I do get. I also get pushed away if I try and initiate or ask so I've stopped initiating or asking.

often it doesn't bother me anymore, it's just not a part of our lives, oh well. getting strident about it never did anything but make the whole thing worse. but every now and then I'll remember what I've lost and get sad about it.

(Anonymous) 2017-01-07 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
Same, anon. Same. Especially about trying to initiate and having it shot down. It kind of leaves things so it's only when my so feels like it and then I feel kind of resentful because of the way the terms get balanced. It makes it feel like if I don't grab that chance when it comes up I don't know when it will again and im so desperate for it I'll never turn them down and that feels kind of shit, but I also would never want to pressure them into sex when they don't want it because that's fucked up, plain and simple.

But I hear you on the sad looking back on what things used to be like.
It sucks, anon. I'm sorry you're feeling like that too.