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rip the bandaid off. tell them now. if you're that sure after one petty stupid incident that you're done with them, do them a favour and don't let them waste any more time on you.

having been on the other side of this, the longer you wait and piss around, the worse you will hurt them, and the more likely it will go badly when you finally bite the bullet.

i know i need to do it as soon as possible, and i do think that's best for them. i just... it's difficult trying to think of a way to tell them so that they're not totally destroyed by it. like, "oh, by the way, you say incredibly petty and mean things to me when you're mad about shit unrelated to me, and that put you one over the number of character flaws i can accommodate on a daily basis! i don't think i can go through with all this!" oversimplifies everything and is in no way appropriate here.

i just don't know how to respond to "why" without making everything worse. i can't tell them it's everything without wounding them severely.

i don't want to hurt them, but that said, i don't think there is a good way to tell someone you just kind of... stopped loving them after years of being together. it hurts less when it's an explosive breakup.

it's weird how this situation is interesting to me

is it really just the offhanded comment alone or more? because this totally screams a situation that has something else as an underlying problem

oh yeah, no, it wasn't just the comment. like i said, it was just something petty that i'd be able to get over normally. everyone's said mean things in the heat of the moment.

what they said stung just a little bit when it happened, but it prompted me to think about a lot of other things.

i'm... actually in a similar situation, but... the other side of the situation i had a huge falling out with someone and am finally self aware as to how shitty i have been and want to apologize how would you, as someone who was hurt by it, would like an apology to be approached?

ew my phone did not do those line breaks. sorry about the incoherency

"I'm sorry, I just don't think this is working out." When someone asks why, what they want to hear is whether it's a problem that they can fix by talking it or.

There's no fixing falling out of love, so the best and kindest answer to why is "there is no one specific reason, it's just not working." They really don't need the list of little fuckups that slowly killed things for you.

yeah, i just hope that answer will suffice. they're the type of person who would insist on hearing the specific reasons so that they could fix it. if it does come to that, i guess i just have to tell them in a straightforward manner, but... god. i wish there were an easier way.

If they push, mention what you said above. That the petty comment stung and while you forgive them it got you thinking more. That should clear up that you do forgive them for what they did, but it helped you to see that things weren't working.

It sounds a bit like when a couple has a bad argument over something petty and then ends up divorcing. It actually happens a lot that some petty slight lets two people see they really have larger issues that may not be resolvable other than agreeing to part ways.

Beware

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