rpanons | Everything is under control

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I also play a dominant character, but I'm very lucky that I have an awesome sub to play with. Here's my 2 cents on what makes it work well:

RPers forget a truism of BDSM play IRL: the extent to which the sub actually controls the scene. This isn't just because the sub has the ability to "safe out." It's because the sub is the one whose physical and psychological limits are being stretched and tested by what is happening in the scene. (IRL, safe doms are, by definition, not just experimenting with things they've never done before on some willing piece of meat. They have studied the techniques they're using under the supervision of someone more experienced. So what they're doing might be something new with that particular sub, but it's very rarely going to be totally uncharted territory for them, like it might be for the sub.)

There are some subs who are eager and some who are resistant, but whatever kind you're playing, submission should have something to do with limits being tested and explored. That's your space of creativity and experimentation for what you do with your character. Make use of it because that's what a BDSM scene is really going to be about!

There's nothing interesting about dominating a character who doesn't have to struggle with something (the pain, the humiliation, their embarrassment, their desires, their self-control, letting go, moving, not moving, whatever). It doesn't have to be a physical struggle. It can be totally internal, but it needs to be there to make things interesting.

Basically, if the submissive character doesn't go through something that they wouldn't have experienced otherwise, there's no reason for the dominant character to be there at all. They might as well be an automaton if the only things they're doing to the sub are things that the sub would do to themselves/things that make no difference.

(Also, to be clear, I'm not saying that dominant characters never have their own struggles with being dominant. It's just that in general, the BDSM scene is not the time/place for those. There's a reason why "top drop" is something that tends to come after the scene is done.)

Everything is under control

Re: THE LOVE HOTEL