rpanons | oh, dreamwidth park is lonely in the dark/all the horny memes have no tag-outs

oh, dreamwidth park is lonely in the dark/all the horny memes have no tag-outs

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I'd say probably in the middle road between fine and tiring? It's hard to describe without saying things that could out me and boy do I not want that. I clearly marked posts, I warned for any unpleasant possible content, I warned new people who were interested in interacting with me about that content, but I didn't continuously remind people who already agreed to it. And then sometimes I might worry that I'd ramble on too much OOCly, and was told it was fine.

It is possible that my perception of how often I said it was skewed, or it's possible though they said the rambling chatter was acceptable it wasn't. Or maybe it really is just that it was an incredibly cliquey game and there was never a right answer and I've been trying to fit in somewhere that didn't have room in the first place.

acting like an asshole to convince yourself that you're unaffected is classic anxiety self defense, anon. please give yourself the gift of help and be at peace

There's at least three or four Plurk holiday giveaways going around where you nominate your friends for points, paid time, etc.

Sometimes RP just sucks like this as well. ;( If you're uncomfortable in game now it might be best to move on and start fresh. I also second the anons suggesting help. You are worthy of time, care and resources too!

It does sound like you probably came on too strong, but there might be other factors that played into why this game just didn't really work for you. This will also be long, but here are some things I'd take into consideration. You don't have to actually answer these questions, but they might be useful things to keep in mind moving forward if you struggle with this kind of thing often.

1. What kind of character were you playing, and do you think that could have contributed to the issue? If you're playing from the hot new canon and running into this problem, it's likely an OOC issue, but sometimes a character just doesn't mesh well with a game or interest anyone else much, and that's not necessarily your fault. Playing from older or more obscure canons can be one factor. So is playing something very different from the majority of the playbase – like playing the one anime character in a game of mostly LA, or an older adult in a game with mostly teens, or something with a genre clash like a cartoony character while most others are from more serious canons.

2. When initially enthusiastically jumping into things, was it all you reaching out first, or did you initially get a decent amount of people hitting you up on toplevels and plotting posts? I get the need to be very proactive to get things going, especially if you're playing a less popular character or going into a game you don't already have friends in, but I think some moderation here can be useful. Most people aren't likely to shoot down a new person even if they aren't especially interested, and if you've already hit them up then they don't need to come to you. So if you respond to almost everything, you're probably going to get a lot of polite seemingly-receptive responses, but that might not be a great indication of how interested people actually are. It might be counterintuitive, but maybe try only reaching out to a handful of people you're really eager to do something with and leave some breathing room to see if anyone else responded to your stuff on their own. It'd also give less of an impression that you're just throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks.

3. How substantial were your attempts to reach out first? Did you take initiative to do interesting things with IC threads? Did you come at people with plot ideas yourself, or just hit up a lot of people with generic "we should do something/i'd love CR with your character!" responses? Even if I was initially open to threading with someone new, I'd probably get tired of it quick if that person always left all the heavy-lifting in plotting and threading up to me but OOCly was impossible to avoid.

4. How big was the game? For stuff like the partnered event, in a big game it seems hard to imagine that not a single other person was partnerless. It's demoralizing when you make general "hey my character needs a partner" comments and no one bites, but did anyone else make similar comments that you could have taken the initiative with? Sometimes people are nervous responding to open calls like that if they don't already have CR. And if the game was small and you really were the sole odd one out, that's on the mods for running an event like that without taking into account things like an odd number of players or what would happen if someone got stuck with a flaky partner. It sucks hard when you feel like everyone's last choice, but give yourself a break and try to recognize where things might have been out of your control.

ngl i would avoid anon too, they're giving off major red flags of overinvestment

this is the way

Did the plot ever pick up?

anon, this level of anxiety and bad self-esteem is actively damaging your life and your ability to socialise. this exact situation is what therapy is made for. you're the kind of person who needs those resources.

Thank you for the response and suggestions.

1. I'll refrain from saying because the worst thing would be outing myself, but I will keep in mind these things even more going forward about how well they may mesh with the existing cast.

2. I got a lot of responses to my top levels and a moderate amount of responses to my plotting posts initially. I followed up on those responses with boomerang tags and tagging out to those people in other things to help try to build up CR potential.

3. I did my utmost to come up with ways the character could interact with them, suggested plots and dynamics, and even made plans for future threads and interactions they could have. I was conscious of the 'don't come at people expecting them to do the heavy lifting' concept, so if I approached them I always made sure to come up with ideas. It's part of why I worried maybe I was coming on too strong.

4. The game was on the smaller end. I didn't see anyone looking for a partner who didn't get one. Not everyone in the game participated. I agree that it's really on the mods rather than the players. Setting up an event that requires IC partnerships, then doing nothing to ensure everyone who signs up gets one, and having the opt-out be 'skip playing for a bit' is just asking for people to be left out.

Feels bad. I guess it might seem like over investment, but my entire goal was to get along and not make anyone feel uncomfortable. But I understand. Now that I've admitted to the anxious response, I also want to remain anonymous so that people don't feel obligated to respond to me or afraid that if they somehow upset me I'll run to an anon comm and drag them.

Yeah, like others said, it's normal to ask friends to check your app for you. I personally find it easier to work on mistakes or missing parts they pointed out vs seeing it after submission (or even a revision request about those very parts).

Depends on the memes, but I usually defaults to vaguely meshing both canons together. I don't go into specifics unless the thread needs it. It helps if both characters have a reason to talk/interact together. A magical girl can probably chat with monster hunter edgy protag over monsters they fought before.

Re: the first point, it's definitely not always a problem. Sometimes people are great about interacting with literally any character, and I've seen people find niches for extreme outlier characters and have great success with them. But your explanation reminded me of someone I remember from a game I used to be in who was playing an extremely cartoony character – think like "talking inanimate object" levels of cartoony. They were clearly trying very hard to get involved in things but no one ever really seemed interested and it was pretty sad and awkward seeing their attempts repeatedly fall flat. They seemed nice enough OOCly and I feel bad that the character they wanted to play was one no one else cared to play with, but it just didn't mesh well with the game at all.

this is not so much an rp woe as it is a minor rp bummer, but it always makes me a little sad when i tag a castmate's top level on a meme and get no response. i know it's no biggie and they don't owe me a response just cus we both play from the same moderately uncommon canon, and i do move on in a timely manner, i just always have this moment of "aw, i was excited to see you and hopefully rp with you :( ah well" when it happens

merry christmas nonnies

FUCK THIS RIGGED GAME

(i was just looking for a way to chill with something stupid! merry christmas fellow barbie-masher!!)

why love triangles when most characters have at least two hands?

Sounds like fun, anon, hit me up!

Tfw anxiety about responding is preventing you from responding which just makes more anxiety. I know it's my fault for not tagging back already and just getting over it already, but I just keep having doubts that my writing and RPing isn't good enough and that there's hundreds of better RPers they could be tagging instead of dealing with me. I know it's mostly just anxiety and overthinking things speaking, but I keep getting caught in between of feeling bad for not tagging back already, and feeling bad if I tag back since it isn't a good enough response and just waste their time more.

if they are replying to your tags, chances are they want to write with you.

anon i have this same anxiety all the time! someone a few posts back said smthn to the effect of "i simply tag while cringing out of your skin" and i highly recommend that approach.

only way out ot the self-blame spiral is through. good luck!

*out of MY

now i'm remembering the time someone played the unicorn from his at gargleblasted

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