rpanons | Catboy Boyfriends 'R Us

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I'm getting really tired of having fun or shippy cr get broken up by third parties who are jealous or just decided to implode that relationship. most of the time these third party players don't even ask before they wade in and ruin things and they don't apologise afterwards.

am I wrong in thinking you should at least reach out and ask if it's ok before you destroy someone's cr with another character?

it's weird that you're letting some random "destroy" your CR without talking to either of those people first

in one case it was a third party who said "either them or me" and acted on it icly without discussing it ooc. the person i had cr with chose them.

and there was zero attempt from the person you initially had cr with to try and work towards a resolution in the future?

like damn anon, either you have some really bizarre luck, or these people were looking for an easy way to drop their cr with you.

sounds like your partner was a willing party in breaking up the cr if they let it happen. the only people who can break cr are the people involved in said cr.

that's true, but it often feels like the expectation is to go along with it because "it's ic" for them to respond that way. it just sucks. :(

If this is a repeating occurrence you are either constantly playing with the shittiest people possible or you might need to examine if you're doing something to cause it.

anon, get real. this is because the people they are playing with are shitty and refuse to communicate.

you're not wrong in thinking that. it's really rude for a 3rd party to ruin the effort you've put in with someone else in putting together that cr.

all parties have to be an agreement about what happens to the cr, good or bad. whether it's ic or not for the character matters very little as to whether or not you're all on board with the direction the story is taking. this should be really simple to grasp in dreamwidth dot com but for some reason it's not and is therefore the cause of a lot of shipping problems.

I wonder if the 3rd party in this case is a canonmate... I've definitely seen people get wanked on for being "OOC" because they don't immediately drop their in-game ships in favor of their canon love interest (or even just a popular fandom ship). And since it's rare to actually get to play out a canon ship or popular fanon ship in a panfandom game, there's a lot of pressure for the player to jump on that opportunity even if they've been enjoying other CR.

does it matter? if all parties are clear about what everyone wants to happen, then it wouldn't matter if the 3rd party is a canonmate or not. if 2 people have already written a ship and a 3rd person wants to insert themselves in it, then all 3 people have to talk about it together, including what that should look like as well as plans for advancing that cr that everyone is comfortable with.

i know this community doesn't like planning or talking to each other, but this is really a situation that warrants all parties on board. if one person doesn't like it, the other two should figure out a way to respect that person's wishes. they can carry out their own ship in a psl, for example. it kills me whenever i see rpers just value temporary gratification that ships bring in favour of destroying pre-established friendships with actual people. and this happens so often that it's barely wankworthy at all, but imo it should be.

Not if they're "Yes and..." players who use improv as excuse to follow impulses consequence free

You are confusing something entirely different for improv and, "yes, and..."

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