rpanons | [moans]

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hey guys i have an issue rn and need your help:

on a rp forum, i found a FANTASTIC psl partner for the last two months. we have great chemistry in our writing. we can tag for ours on end. we have fun ooc chats on the side.

but a childhood hero of hers revealed a pretty shitty side of herself on twitter lately. people have been digging up more evidence of how deep this shitty side goes, too, so it's not an accident or a one time thing.

my partner has been defending her childhood hero. in our ooc chats the last few days, saying she's right, she's being ganged up by 'haters' and 'freaks' and so on. childhood hero is only stating 'facts' and how it's stupid to ignore science for ~feelings~ etc.

the thing is this: my partner KNOWS i'm directly effected by what her childhood hero said. i confided to them about my identity a month back and i thought they accepted me. so now this childhood hero of theirs is saying i don't matter and i'm not 'real' and it hurts to see my partner defend the harmful statements.

i tried speaking to them about it. i reminded my psl partner about my identity and how this hurts me and others in my community. my partner only says 'you're different than them! you're a good one! this doesn't hurt you REALLY' (yes. that's a thing my psl partner said.) then i asked if we can stop talking about this but they said no. they said it's not fair they can't vent about how awful those 'freakos' are.

this has been happening for the last few days and i'm tired. i'm not sure how to go about this and i dread speaking/roleplaying with them now. i don't have the energy to continue our psls or any psls since this is draining me.

do i cut my losses and ghost my partner? do i keep trying to explain how this is hurting me? i'm at a loss.

let them go. they're only trying to placate you for their own entertainment needs. they don't respect you and that isn't fair to you.

i know the "hero" you're talking about. fuck her and fuck your partner. that shit isn't okay.

here's an important lesson: you can't reason someone out of a belief they didn't reason themselves into. your partner's views are fuelled by fear and cruelty, they're irrational. no matter what you say, you won't change their mind any time soon.

for your own sake, drop this transphobic "friend" and get out of there, op. there are plenty of good and non bigoted fish in the sea. if you feel up to it, tell her why you're letting her go, but don't expect her to change herself.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Your partner has made it very clear where their priorities lie -- continuing to spout this hateful garbage is more important to them than not causing you pain. There are no magic words you can say that will make them reassess that priority. You have explained to them how this is hurting you, and they don't care.

Cut your losses. There are other good RPers out there who don't share these views. I'm so sorry that this person you meshed with so well turned out to be such a piece of shit. Take care of yourself and stop engaging with someone who considers you and people like you to be "freakos." (The 'you're one of the good ones' rhetoric is bullshit.)

Maybe losing you as a friend and RP partner over this will help them come to their senses. Maybe it won't. In any case, you don't need this in your life and they don't deserve to have you around.

lmao freakos...

time to take your freak tags elsewhere. i would let them know why instead of ghosting them though, because maybe then they'll finally get it

not in a hateful way, just a quick 'look this topic that we've been discussing has really done a number on my mental health. it's an important topic to us both and unfortunately we don't see eye to eye, which has taken a toll on me and killed my drive to continue with our threads. for the sake of my own health, i'm going to have to part ways' or some shit like that

i agree with all of this, but with the caveat that they could lash out at you in response and that i don't blame you if you'd prefer to quietly ghost them. however, they could still lash out at you even if you ghost them instead of confronting them. either way, i'd collect receipts now, because i guarantee that you won't be one of "the good ones" once you stop being their fun dispenser.

also: if you have other friends on the forum that you trust, i'd talk to them and ask advice on if/when you should bring this to admins. someone familiar with the forum will have better advice on that front than rpa.

lmao you're "at a loss" when someone basically implied/outright said that your identity is a freakish, unnatural thing?

y'all need a backbone. dwrp in general needs a backbone. no psl partner is FANTASTIC enough to deal with someone disrespecting you that deeply, especially if they can't even wrap their head around why it upsets you in the first place.

block them and move on with your life. there are other people who can give you a good psl experience who won't treat you like shit.

someone CAN still be conflicted and disappointed when a good thing goes south and they find out someone they had creative chemistry with is a bigot, even if things seem clear cut. OP clearly thought cutting ties was an option, but it sounds to me like they wanted to make sure it was a logical solution (or might be drumming up the 'backbone' you reference to go through with it.) that's the whole point behind asking for advice.

advice which they got and you agree with, so there is really no reason to come at this with that much aggression, anon. everyone has so far said the same thing.

OK but i don't understand the logic in coming to an anon comm and asking for the advice you were already considering anyway.

just cut the cord and be an adult. obviously if someone is disrespecting your identity, you realize this and are upset by it, they don't seem to think they're being offensive (calling you one of the GOOD ONES as if all people of that identity are the same), then yes, the logical reaction is to cut ties.

this isn't rocket science. OP just sounds like they want buttpats and validation. there's no grey area in this scenario to consider.

Yeah! Fuck OP for coming here for support! What kind of a loser wants validation after being hurt by a friend anyway?

dude, it's for the same reason that anyone wants affirmation they're making the right choice in anything big. this is a person they have a relationship with and sometimes 'grit and bear it' is advice often given. this is not one of those cases. and they maybe wanted a little extra validation because it's hard when you're in the middle of it. it's the same as why there's aita threads on reddit. sometimes you have to ask.

and so what if they want buttpats and validation. no one's forcing you to give it. jesus. you're so mad someone wants help and positivity. eat a snickers.

yes, cut this person out of your life?? how is this even a question

they're a fucking transphobe who thinks people like you are freaks and wants you to know about it

You can say it's about JK Rowling anon lmao.

This person is transphobic, and the only reason they're not admitting it outright is because you're trans and they like rping with you.

No need to ghost, I'd say just be honest. "Hey, your glorifying of a transphobic terf is exhausting to deal with and it's actively hurting me, so I don't want to talk to you or rp with you ever again."

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