rpanons | You sound fat

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what should i do if i want to drop contact with someone, but doing so will almost certainly result in fallout that causes my other friends to hate me

my other friends are good people, but they can be kind of gullible, and the person i want to drop is really, really good at manipulating people into thinking they're an innocent angel and everyone else is the devil.

they will definitely notice if i cut contact with them, even quietly, and they will definitely try to smear me because of it. this person has stalked and badmouthed people for literally years on end, people who haven't even spoken to them once in that time, over the most trivial shit (and from what i can tell, problems they themselves caused). they used to wank about this to me, trying to make me hate the other person. frankly, they freak me out a little and i want to gtfo.

do i just have to resign myself to losing my friends? i guess i will if that's what has to happen, but i'm wondering if maybe there's a better way to handle this without causing a shit storm

just do what you need to do. you might be surprised by who sticks around

sure, some of them will probably buy the shitty story, but generally most of us have been in this hobby long enough to know that there are three sides to every story, and we resent the dumb fuckers who are trying to "win" us with some sob story

a lot of us actually don't like to pick sides like that

if you're that concerned, i'd say make a private plurk to the closest friends you think are likely to care, letting them know that you're cutting ties with friend x, that you bear them no ill will and that you don't want them to feel like they're obligated to keep you around if that weighs against you in their favor. they'll sense drama, but if they actually like you, they won't be dicks about it.

If you quietly cut someone who I think is a good person and the good person says you're a little shit and you don't tell me anything I'm going to assume you flounced because I have no reason to believe otherwise.

If you quietly cut someone and say that you had problems (not even what, just that there was personal problems) I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

is this rp related? if so yes because this sounds so unhealthy and should not be happening in a hobby as trivial as roleplay

better to deal with the fallout and move on then be e-held hostage by some psycho

if it's in RL that's even sadder :(

Not OP, but this definitely happens in this hobby more than you might think. Dunno if we're talking about the same person, but I recently escaped someone who fits this to a T.

They're probably talking about me like I was the devil, and from the looks of how many people pat their ass, they're probably believing it, but you just have to move past it and hope that your friends are better than that. Don't let them get to you because you'll be happier without them. Manipulative people like that need to be nipped in the bud.

I dropped someone like that recently. I lost a handful of friends in the process, but I reestablished some friendships with people I'd lost trying to keep that person's resentment at bay. The aftermath wasn't half as bad as I was expecting, but I think that's part of what makes it so hard to leave behind the manipulative "friend" in the first place.

I'm much happier for it now and I wish you all the strength in the world to get out of that bad situation.

this happened to me recently in largely different circumstances than the ones you're going through, i suspect. cutting ties with anyone can be hard especially if you had some level of affection for them, but it's always best to be honest with yourself and others by doing what you gotta do:

i suggest take the friends you're closest to aside and laying it out. you don't have to go into exaggerated detail or tell them any more than you want past "so and so and i aren't working out and i don't think we can solve our problems, and since it's getting to the point where our relationship is becoming toxic i think it would be best if i cut contact with her." be honest and be firm. if they're really your friends they'll understand. if they take her side and try to start shit, you'll know what kind of people they really are and that they're not worth your friendship.

You sound fat

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