Trapped in the city of one loo

[rpanonmod]

Rundown: rpanons is an anonymous community for role-play related topics. This place serves as a forum for game discussions, canon discussions, RP solicitations (ATP, game ads, open memes), and advice. The occasional off topic comment is inevitable, but please keep heated social and political topics to their respective communities. Posting them here will only get them frozen. Subsequent threads made to bypass a freeze will then be deleted.

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Comments

[(Anonymous)]

have any of you ever been in a place where like

you don't actively want to commit suicide or anything but if something were to happen to you by accident you'd be totally okay with it

is there a word for this

[(Anonymous)]

Go to a therapist not anons

[(Anonymous)]

it more or less falls into the category of fantasizing about death, which is concerning enough to seek hep for, so go to a therapist

[(Anonymous)]

not really an option for me due to finances/availability, but thanks anon i'll figure sth out

[(Anonymous)]

do you have someone you can talk to? :(

[(Anonymous)]

i know you've probably done this, but it's worth looking to see if your county or state has public mental health services. a lot of people assume it's not there (including me) and in some places it's not, but it doesn't hurt to look.

[(Anonymous)]

yeah i've been feeling this way for 5ish years


also i love how people say "go to a therapist" when in reality it's not going to help. i had that and medication for three years, but nope, still feeling the same. i guess it's better than being afraid to die at least.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

therapy isn't for everyone. i've tried therapy several times and it's been pretty useless for me.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

The same applies to me, but I haven't bothered with therapy. As long as such thoughts aren't interfering with my life and I'm not actively trying to seek out a means to die, then to me it's just lacking a fear of death.

[(Anonymous)]

whoa there. you attempting therapy and not feeling like it helped you doesn't mean "in reality it's not going to help." the specific therapist and type of therapy you had did not help you. therapy does not help some people. but the vast majority, it does, and it's not helpful to claim it's never going to help anyone.

+1

[(Anonymous)]

this is about as helpful as saying, "i'm allergic to penicillin and it nearly killed me once. you shouldn't take antibiotics."

in fact, even if one therapist and type of therapy don't help someone, this means nothing about whether a different therapist/type of therapy might prove helpful for them.

i just wish it wasn't so fucking inconvenient, time-consuming and expensive to therapist shop, because that's a serious barrier to actually finding someone who can help. :/

+1

[(Anonymous)]

I say this as someone who's spent most of my life suicidally depressed and never found therapy or medication helpful but it's shitty to tell other mentally ill people that therapy doesn't help across the board as if that's the same for everyone. Shitty and selfish.

Maybe it hasn't helped people like me but people should still be encouraged to see if their state or county offers services and to at least try. I've had friends who were depressed that knew it didn't work for me and I went out of my way to point out that it might still work for them and they should at least give it a shot. For most of them it did help and they're better off for going.

I feel like some mentally people are bitter assholes that hate the idea of it working for other people and not themselves and that's why they tell people it never works, and I say screw that, man. Anyone that discourages others to not get help just because therapy and medication didn't help them is self-centered. Maybe we'll never claw our way out of this hole, but we shouldn't be actively trying to pull others down with us. We should be doing what we can to shove them out and people should be encouraged to find access to professional help and to give it a try at least once, for the ones it can save. Maybe it won't work but they won't know unless they try.

+1000

[(Anonymous)]

This times a thousand. I've been depressed most of my life with suicidial ideation (passively, like how op described). It's livable to have those kind of thoughts but at the same time it's very exhausting.

Over my life I've had to move around a lot due to school or jobs, and so had to change therapists. I've found only two good ones (out of five) that have actually helped. But boy were they amazing. I honestly don't know how, but they made my life so much better with whatever they used to help me open up and discuss my feelings, as well as helping me through the root of the problem and giving me helpful exercises. There was even a year or so of my life where Indidnt have that passive suicidal ideation. The other therapists were okay, but just didn't...click, I guess? I have one now and it's better than nothing I suppose but I'm going to be looking elsewhere soon. Not every therapist is the same like not every med is the same. Plus therapy doesn't have weird side effects like some of the meds do.

[(Anonymous)]

lol

[(Anonymous)]

Then go to a different therapist you stupid shit

If your car was wheezing and you took it to a mechanic who couldn't fix it would you shrug and say oh well I guess mechanics are useless for fixing cars?

[(Anonymous)]

because oftentimes it's not as simple as "go find another"? because, oftentimes, this process entails going to three, four, or more, just to find a suitable fit, and not everyone wants to bother with that sort of hassle after multiple failed attempts? because for most of us you don't just snap your fingers and the right therapist falls into your lap? because some of us don't even have the luxury of choice to begin with?

a little empathy and perspective goes a long way, friend. try it sometime.

[(Anonymous)]

i've gone through four in different clinics, thanks for asking, clever person.

mechanical malfunction is an actual physically repairable matter. psychology is a bunch of mumbo-jumbo and guesswork. there's nothing exact that can be 'fixed' about it. you're welcome, now you're smarter.

[(Anonymous)]

ive been like this since i was like 7 tbh

the world has never stopped being a depressing horrorshow but there are just enough nice things in it that i don't want to actually kill myself

i'd be okay with just going to sleep and never waking up or something though

+1

[(Anonymous)]

nice and easy and i don't need to be responsible for my death

[(Anonymous)]

it's called passive suicidality or passive suicidal ideation iirc, you are not alone

[(Anonymous)]

isn't that just normal

[(Anonymous)]

uhhhh most people have a self-preservation instinct/aversion to death. how would the species survive if we just didn't give a shit?

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, this is me right now. I can't find a job and I have no energy thanks to medication I'm taking for something unrelated. I'm still living with my parents, my degree is useless, and I can't pay my student loans. I'm not suicidal, but I'm so down on myself that I'd absolutely be okay if something just happened.

[(Anonymous)]

+1

this is me too. it super damn sucks. :(

[(Anonymous)]

Me.

I spent time today walking across roads thinking about someone running me over. The only thing that stops me actively jumping out in front of people is that i don't want to fuck that person's day over completely.