rpanons | Don't bother

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There are lots of different ways to exercise that might not trigger your pain. Swimming (even just being in the water) can be a help. There are lots of exercise programs for people who experience pain - some targeted at an older audience, but they are no less effective for it! I don't mean to concentrate on something you said you can't do, but there is only one way to lose weight, and that's to consume fewer calories than you expend, and you already said you can't limit your diet, so. It's one or the other.

I'm a big girl, and when I was younger I had a lot of weight and body issues. I only wore long jeans and shirts. Never let anyone but my parents see me in swim wear. Didn't attend parties when my self esteem would take a dive. It's a thing I think a lot of people experience, and it's natural to want people to remember you at your best. It took me doing A LOT of staring in the mirror and trying different kinds of clothing on for me to start to accept my body. I'm big, and I'm not on any speedy train to get smaller, so it's a matter of learning to dress for your size and finding the things you like. I have no experience with self harm, I'm sorry if this isn't helpful, but you honestly need to introduce other people into your life slowly as you are, because that support is so important. Wear a dress to the supermarket. Buy some cute shorts and wear them around the house. Even if you aren't going out, put some effort into your appearance and make an effort to appreciate yourself - because I'm sure you're very beautiful! But it's nice to be reminded, especially by yourself, and then it will feel more... Natural, I guess? SAFE weight loss is always slow, because it does take longer to take off than to put the pounds on. :(

And as a final note from a lifelong big girl: everyone always thinks you've lost weight, always. ALWAYS. it's totally obnoxious, but something about seeing a a woman even slightly outside of the acceptable weight spectrum makes people think "you've lost weight" is a better compliment than "you look nice". I've found following up with a "you, too!" Is backhanded enough to be satisfying.

If you want to talk, anon, I'll be happy to give you a sock to pm.

swimming's a no-go since i don't wear shorts. i don't even own any. part of my problem is also that i don't have money for things like clothes? so i'm wearing old jean that are kind of wrecked and no alternatives. i'm on assistance and they don't allow for clothing grants anymore, so i've been without anything new for the last 8 or so years. it's also why my diet is limited to what i can afford and not what might be best for me.

and even on the off chance i could get shorts, i wouldn't wear them. not in public. and not even around my place. i don't like the way i look at all. seeing more of my flab isn't going to make me feel pretty. i have urges to fuck myself up more so i have a valid reason to hate the way i look.

it's not just the overweight thing, because logically, i know i'm not as big as some of the people i've known. i just hate everything about myself. it's compounded with personality and appearance. i can't separate the two. and on top of that, i'm close to housebound because of how much i hate being looked at. i have to scurry to and from the bathroom in case anyone sees me. i can realize and acknowledge it's not healthy, but the only answer i keep seeing online is medication, and i don't want to be more of a zombie than i am.

Below anon got it, pretty much. You sound like someone who needs professional support for this, since most advice online won't be specific enough and will take more motivation than I can give here!

I'm sorry your going through this, but with the right help it will get better. Good luck!

Don't bother

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