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i have a friend who makes small mistakes and will then insult himself with complete sincerity. like, he'll get the name of an actor or something wrong then be like "oh i meant ______. i am such a dumbass."

it's annoying. i've already told him to stop apologizing over literally nothing but he ignores it. i've also always just ignored it aside from that, but he keeps doing it.

i don't want to have to have this conversation with him again but it gets on my nerves. what else can i do to make him stop?

agree with him and then promptly continue on with the conversation

he'll stop

hey, i haven't tried this yet. thanks anon, i'll give it a shot.

you're welcome

if he gets offended then point out to him that he obviously doesn't think he's ____ if he's so butthurt about you agreeing with him

congrats, you will have turned his self-pitying little world on its head and if he does continue the behavior, at least he won't do it with you

It's cruel but it works.

if it's a normal "oh god i should've known that, i'm such a dipshit" type stuff and it isn't constant, you need to get over it

if it seems like he's genuinely angry at himself or it happens a lot, you can try talking to him about it, but honestly if he doesn't seem interested in addressing it you're probably just going to have to deal

yes it is constant and it reeks of "please reassure me i am not stupid because i have low self esteem." i don't coddle that kind of crap.

oh yeah that's different

"yeah whatever" and go on, the lack of buttpats and lack of interest will make him quit

for a couple years i was in a borderline emotionally abusive best friendship with someone with avoidant personality disorder, and they did a lot of this. they still do. they really have literally no other reaction to conflict or error.

it's draining, and it's not your job to deal with. consider the extent to which your friend is doing it, and how you feel when he does.

if it's just annoyance, i'd buck up honestly or reassess whether you want to hang around him. low self esteem is pretty common on the internet.

if the conversation must utterly stop and turn to five minutes of oh no no you're a smart good person i'm not mad i promise i'm not mad or he starts putting words in your mouth about you calling him/implying he's stupid then

well

it may be time for the friendship to go. some behaviours people can't or are unwilling to change. it's awful, but you have to take care of you too.

I had a friend like this as well who, along with throwing himself little pity parties over the dumbest shit, would blow up when he was upset about something and had me patting his ass and taking care of his feelings. I finally had a talk with him and when he wouldn't listen, I just cut him off and I feel so much better now.

You may need to do the same thing depending on how bad it is.

Call him Dobby when he does that.

my mother does this constantly, though in her case i think it's genuinely low self-esteem rather than looking for asspats. still drives me up a wall, though.

(´･ω･`)

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