rpanons | Do your taxes

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i always end up wanting to know the people i have enjoyable threads with oocly but on here it sounds like most people are hesitant about any ooc contact beyond a few PMs for plotting or what have you and would think i was weird if i acted like i was interested in being friends.

pageclaim of friendship.

i feel the same way and i feel like if you chat a little ooc you'll be more comfortable rping or you'll have better communication

well tbh this is a community full of people that would rather talk anonymously than to people's faces so...it's not all that surprising.

but yeah I still talk to people on plurk and get to know them OOCly. I feel like it helps to know what sort of things they're interested in, why they're playing who they're playing, hell, even just how their day is going. I don't think it's a requirement but I'm naturally social so it's part of the enjoyment for me. If I didn't want to interact with people I'd write my own stuff.

this is a social hobby considering you need other people in order to do it and so i find it weird that people would be put off by ooc chatting

Sometimes you just don't have anything in common with the people you play with.

And then conversations become really awkward because neither of you know what to say.

Well, yeah, that's life. I'm not saying you should pretend to be friends with someone, but I think it's silly to avoid talking to people in a social hobby.

Not sure about anyone else, but in the past I've had a lot of bad experiences when, once comfortable OOC'ly, muns taking advantage, getting TOO close, feeling a sense of ownership because we're "friends" that led to basically tonnes of wank, backstabbing, aggression, and complete breakdown of the RP relationship. I prefer to keep it on a professional level these, so to speak.

In saying that, I'm also one of the lucky ones to have a small group of close friends I have a lot of PSLs with and we have weather the wank of these other so-called friends and still going strong. So, it's Catch-22, really. When it works, it can be amazing. When it doesn't, it can ruin your love for RP and open-minded OOC interaction entirely.

there is also a huge difference between OOC communication for meme and plotting versus OOC communication for small talk, tmi, and real life things i honestly don't care about.

i've had more substantial CR when i barely communicate with people than when i did

All of this. I'm also very introverted so I don't have a lot of energy for chit-chat.

Exactly. I think a lot of RPers are actually extroverted and they conflate introversion with their anxiety problems and such. There is so much OOC chatter that's expected by default in this hobby and I just cannot deal. I have a limited tolerance for that offline, so why would I want to spend my downtime chatting with people I barely know and keeping up with a ton of loose associations?

da here and yep.

i used to try to force ooc interaction despite being an introvert and it landed me a lot of drama. once i pulled back, chilled out and simply let myself be my less-social-than-most-of-my-timeline self, it stopped. for some reason i thought i'd get reprimanded for that or something, like i had to be social, but that fortunately isn't the case at all and i'm much happier like this.

i'm fine with a little ooc chatting but i have to say i get weirded out if someone tries to get too close

slides my hand up your thigh

slaps it away

i'm cool with making friends, but with people i actually have something in common with and have a sense of boundaries. the majority of rpers don't fall into that category and automatically assume we're MUCH closer than what we actually are, which is strangers on the internet that both like one TV show.

like there is no difference between casual acquaintance and 'omg your mom gave you a lecture over the phone about budgeting what a BITCH!!!' i feel like I'm wading through a pool of hyperactive, pushy, oversharing teenagers.

I just have never had a whole lot of interest in maintaining online friendships. I've had some decent friends over the years and at this point I don't bother trying tbh bc I'm always the dick that disappears off the face of the earth and never resurfaces. It's easier to keep things to pms bc then I don't feel guilty when I hit the point where I only go online once a week and that's to check up on shows and pinterest and shit, not to talk with old friends. That being said I do miss quite a few of them and wonder how they're doing.

I've been RPing on LJ/DW since 2007 and have made a grand total of 3 lasting friends. Two of them in my first year.

They're great people and all but there has been endless fucking bullshit between then and now with other people I've attempted to reach out to. Nearly everyone over here is so fucked up in the head or generally maladjusted that they make terrible friends. Since, I've got more than a few of my own problems, I need to take care of myself, first and foremost, and this environment is kind of bad for someone with codependent tendencies tbh. People take hideous advantage of that.

That, and I'll be totally honest and say that my feelings have been crushed way too many times to count, because when I'm interested in being friends with someone, I don't half-ass it. I'm in it for the long haul. But it seems like more people are only able to be fair-weather friends here than offline, which is just... I want to say it makes me angry, I do, but I feel really bad for them and wonder what could have happened to make them so incapable of the normal levels of intimacy, loyalty, etc. that comprise a healthy friendship.

And then it makes me want to try to help and ehhhhhhh no bad idea. So yeah, I avoid OOC contact for a combination of the above reasons.

Some people just aren't interested or don't have the time to commit to a longlasting online friendship. Particularly if offline relationships take priority.

They're not at all the people I was talking about, though.

Depends. If you're doing the natural sort of let's talk, be friendly, see how this goes but not force it thing, hell yes. If you're instantly going to immediately jump to being an OTP/siblings/BFF4eva then hell no. The awkward shit tends to come when someone forces a friendship. I've had a ton of rad as fuck experiences so wanting to be friendly wouldn't weird me out at all, but assuming besties would.

Do your taxes

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