rpanons | Love thy anon

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sexuality is so confusing and i keep telling myself that labels don't matter and yet i keep getting this compulsion to angst and label myself

stop it

that's why my label is "gives no fucks"

"give no fucks"

>asexual

...I cannot believe it took me five seconds to get that and then I snorted.

I don't like to call myself "asexual," because for a lot of people, it calls to mind the assholes on tumblr who whine about being somehow "oppressed" because sometimes media depictions of sexuality make them feel vaguely uncomfy. If anything, I'm more privileged by the fact that I don't want to be involved with what other people do with their genitals, because of the way overt female sexuality is stigmatized in western society. So, I prefer "gives no fucks," because it conveys the idea that I'm not having sex and don't care to without lumping me in with the crazies.

LOL

narrow labels are crap, but it doesn't hurt to think about your sexual identity. it's part of you, after all, so you owe it to yourself to learn how to understand and accept it.

there's more to the sexuality spectrum than just straight and gay. there's straight, gay, asexual, bisexual, pansexual, transsexual, transgender, genderqueer, and stuff that doesn't even fit cleanly into those categories. some people feel like they have different sexual identities from day to day. but i've found that knowing what i am has helped me find resources and friends, and helped me figure out how to talk to other people about my sexuality.

don't feel like you have to obsess over it and find a label that perfectly fits you, but at the same time, don't feel like you have to bottle it all up and never think about it.

cleanly into those categories

most of these categories are "special snowflake" in the first place. Anything that doesn't fit into them is even more attention whory, not something legitimate.

I agree that it looks desperate and/or like really hard work at trying to get unique attention for a person to get too finicky about labels, but I have never seen anything snowflakey about any those categories.

If anything, I want to say that you definitely should know it but that categories and obsessive subcategories are proof that overthinking and making a point of getting a label on it is a waste of energy. Everyone works and thinks a little differently, anyway, so don't try to pigeonhole yourself.

but I have never seen anything snowflakey about any those categories.

you never been to tumblr.

>tumblr

there's your problem right there

stop hanging around flaily neet kids who have chronic snowflake syndrome

You're straight, just confused, like most people that don't "identify" as straight.

You mean "bisexual but haven't met the right same-sex people yet", right?

zombie say

labels not make you happy

then go to tumblr and have fun with precisely that

Labels get a bad name because people try to turn them into intricate and iron-clad rules, but the truth is that being able to describe and communicate how we see ourselves socially is a pretty deep-seated human need. It feels like everyone around you knows who they are and and what they want, they fit somewhere into a community of like-minded people who can offer advice and mutal understanding. It's okay to want that.

As long as you don't ignore things that you feel or want because they don't perfectly fit the label you've already decided must be the right one, it's okay to want a label that you're comfortable, that feels like it reflects your desires/experience. Don't be in a rush to figure it out NOW NOW NOW, because like you said, sexuality is confusing. But the purpose of language is clarity, and the human brain likes categories. Don't beat yourself up for wanting a label, or for not seeming like the perfect prototypical example of one.

Just talk to people and let yourself try things until you find an identity that fits. And remember that it's a word you're using for your own purposes, not a social security number - if you feel like you're better suited by a different word later, that's okay too.

Love thy anon

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