rpanons | [M] No subject

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Concerns?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

all college made me is suicidal. I haven't had a single day since I started school where I don't think about killing myself. The worst part is that it's not even related to my workload and I don't have anyone to talk to, because I don't want anyone to know :(

i'm sorry, anon. the semester would be just beginning, is there anyway you can drop out and still can get full reimbursement?

Most schools have free counseling services that are confidential. I'd highly recommend taking advantage of this, anon. I felt that way when I got into college. Seeing a counselor helped me straighten shit out. There's nothing shameful about needing help.

I can understand not wanting people close to you to know because it can be awkward, but talking to someone else usually does help a lot. Most colleges provide counseling services, but if you want greater anonymity you can call/email a suicide help hotline, or set up an appointment with therapist/counselor in your area (low cost options are usually available). And if you're having a crisis and those thoughts start to turn into plans, get yourself to a hospital ASAP.

If it's not related to your workload, then what is it? College can be very socially and emotionally stressful even if you aren't falling behind on schoolwork. It's nothing to be ashamed of... I think everybody goes through a period of adjustment when they start a new phase of their life. And if you're really not happy with where you are or what you're doing, then you can change it.

It's all social. I'm used to having my friends from highschool and without them making friends is really difficult, and not having friends makes me feel like everyone's looking down on me. My roomate's really extroverted and always has friends in the room, and they keep trying to invite me places or talk to me like I'm a little kid, or something to be pitied. The idea oof not having friends and not being able to make friends is the worsg thing I've ever felt, i never realized how much I depend on people for emotional support.

I'm really happy with my classes and I never dreamed id be able to get into such an amazing school, but without friends I feel like it's all worthless. if I take a semester if I'll lose all my federal aid so taking a semester off isn't an option. This feels really disgusting and despicable now that I have it all typed out ugh

if your roommate and her friends are inviting you to go places and do things with them, that means they like you. the little kid talk is probably just friendly teasing. go out with them, do things, distract yourself and try to have fun.

also try to set aside some time every week to skype with your high school friends so you don't feel so lonely.

I had a good cry and now I feel a little better than I did, sorry four wasting your time. It's been a really long night in more ways than one. thank you guys for your advice and concern, it's really nice to know that a few anonymous people on the internet actually care about what happens to me. It means a lot, actually.

If you have anything else or feel like you do need to talk to someone, post again here. Though it's probably better to get advice from someone more legit than us, there are people here who will lend an ear if you just want to talk in short anon bursts to keep yourself steady.

Awww anon. ):

Something that helped me break into things at college was to join a club! Look around campus and see if you can find something that interests you. I know what it's like to have a super extroverted roommate you just don't click with, and having a group of people with similar interests really helped me out. I even help run one of the clubs I stuck with!

But you know, re: that last point -- talk to a financial aid adviser. I'm pretty sure you can take a quarter off without affecting aid, so long as you return all aid from that quarter and fill out the necessary paperwork. It might vary based on the university, but I imagine they would much rather you take a quarter off and get things together, than struggle and risk dropping out.

+1 for clubs. i was in your position in college so hard it wasn't even funny (seriously are you me) but i found some nerdy clubs and made a few friends. even if you don't make some bffs straight off the bat you get a bunch of people who share your interests and shoot the shit with you once a week or whatever, it really helps.

Agreeing with the above anon, going to clubs is key. I met literally all my close college friends through organizations I joined, plus it makes a huge difference in your perception of yourself and other people's perceptions of you when you're the one who has somewhere to be after classes.

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