rpanons | cowboy times in space

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DWRP social culture is ridiculously toxic in such a unique way I feel like it should be studied by sociologists. It's not just the impenetrable wall of unspoken social "rules" that people will snub or bully others for not knowing but also won't actually tell them up front, but the unique combination of crippling conflict-avoidance that can barely tolerate the concept of saying "sorry, I'm not interested" paired with the prevailing attitude that no one owes anyone anything ever. Add that onto the culture of anonymous complaining about people, and the tendency to blow even the smallest "social faux pas" (aka breaking one of the many, many unspoken social "rules") completely out of proportion. Top it off with the tendency to couch everything in therapy vocabulary, and you have a hot mess of anxiety chihuahuas pretending to be cheerful and happy all the time and never saying what they want while competing to be the most popular girl in high school (because no one will tag you if you're not the most popular girl in high school).

Most people in DWRP seem to think that DWRP's set of particular oddly-inflexible "social norms" are just regular social norms all of society agrees on and if you don't follow them you're a weirdo, but they are very, very wrong.

So what is my unpopular opinion?

The most "normal" people I've run into in DWRP, who communicate like adults, let their friends know when they're feeling down without trauma dumping, know what they want, and have reasonable expectations of other people in a social setting/social hobby, are considered outcasts and weirdos in the DWRP scene. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

oh brother

lol

my unpopular opinion is most of the people i've met on this website are chill and normal!

so, basically, you've managed to piss a lot of people off to the extent that they can't be bothered to give you the time of day anymore

missing missing reasons and all that

LMAO no. Where did I say no one would give me the time of day? I get along with tons of people, because I'm capable of masking in toxic environments. I'm just so fed up with masking as a weird person who felt awful about being uncool in high school and then missed the point of therapy when I tried to fix it.

i agree but i also think that its also required to give some grace when people misstep because there’s a lot of us who are neurodivergent and struggle socially.

not saying that we should excuse or accept that behavior, but as someone who was diagnosed with ADHD only recently, it finally clicked why i would struggle to connect because i wasn’t picking up on cues or that my hyperfixations would cause people problems after being in this hobby for a while. its also probably not just ADHD as my therapists also suspect me being on the spectrum but not sure what specifically at this point.

honestly i would love to adhere to societal norms because that sounds wonderful. but theres a lot that has happened growing up that made me think that was the norm and would inflict it on others without realizing - a good example is trauma dumping. my mother used me to complain and trauma dump on me when i was small child, and when i mean small i mean early elementary school. i ended up growing up thinking it was normal to just casually drop deeply personal and upsetting information on people because that’s what was done to me.

i do agree with a lot of your points but unfortunately i think “just act like normal adults” is difficult when i’m still trying to understand how a normal adult acts like.

Oh, believe me, part of my beef with DWRP social norms is that no one is willing to give anyone grace when they misstep. The normal people I'm referring to in my original comment are almost all on the spectrum and ADHD.

If you think this is unique to DWRP you must not have spent time in basically any other RP/fandom community online.

Tumblr, Twitter, Discord, forum RPs, IJ...they've all got some variation of this.

I've been RPing online in various forms for decades anon, all over the place. Of course every group of people has some toxicity, but DWRP is by far the worst I've ever run into.

worse than twitter and tumblr fandoms who regularly send each other death threats and doxx/swat each other? who have literally driven people to suicide attempts? the twitter that is full of bigots and actual proud neo nazis? you're saying that some rpers complaining to each other over not getting tags is worse than that?

We have all that here too lmao

yeah ok this is just bait. 2/10, you tried.

my opinion is that posts like this are a big red flag

out of interest, do you consider yourself one of the "normal" people?

Yes and no. I'm not "normal" by the standards of the average neurotypical person on the street, because I'm not neurotypical. I make some weird social faux pas now and again. I definitely get along better with people in person than I do online.

If you're asking if I know how to touch grass, think that actual communication is important in a social hobby, and know how to set healthy boundaries, then yes. I do.

a lot of warning signs in this post

cowboy times in space

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