i'm not a mental health professional and i think you should seek genuine clinical opinion, but: i'm autistic and my closest friends are autistic, are you also autistic?
other anons said "social anxiety" and i can see that you are anxious but it's in the way autistic people learn anxiety: they can't read social cues and don't know how to naturally fit in, deal with the consequences of social faux pas they don't realize they're making, and try to analyze situations to work out a logical series of rules for behaviours that will keep them safe.
even just your way of writing feels like an indicator to me since you haven't changed your syntax and case to mirror the way other anons speak here.
anyway maybe i am totally wrong, there's lots of different forms of neurodivergence. but my diagnosis really helped me find resources that improved my social skills, and put accommodations in place to help me. "hey, i have autism and i'm not great at taking hints, but i won't be upset or angry if you would like me to leave you alone; i don't need reassurance, just honesty" is a script that has helped me resolve situations like this early.
finding other autistic people in dwrp also helped me find a group i fit in with rather than being pushed out. i hope even if you're not autistic you manage to find your people too!
Re: RP WOES
i'm not a mental health professional and i think you should seek genuine clinical opinion, but: i'm autistic and my closest friends are autistic, are you also autistic?
other anons said "social anxiety" and i can see that you are anxious but it's in the way autistic people learn anxiety: they can't read social cues and don't know how to naturally fit in, deal with the consequences of social faux pas they don't realize they're making, and try to analyze situations to work out a logical series of rules for behaviours that will keep them safe.
even just your way of writing feels like an indicator to me since you haven't changed your syntax and case to mirror the way other anons speak here.
anyway maybe i am totally wrong, there's lots of different forms of neurodivergence. but my diagnosis really helped me find resources that improved my social skills, and put accommodations in place to help me. "hey, i have autism and i'm not great at taking hints, but i won't be upset or angry if you would like me to leave you alone; i don't need reassurance, just honesty" is a script that has helped me resolve situations like this early.
finding other autistic people in dwrp also helped me find a group i fit in with rather than being pushed out. i hope even if you're not autistic you manage to find your people too!