rpanons | oh, dreamwidth park is lonely in the dark/all the horny memes have no tag-outs

oh, dreamwidth park is lonely in the dark/all the horny memes have no tag-outs

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not even a polyshipper but this is such a dumb analogy

+1

comparing not wanting to write some barbies smashing against other barbies to actual real world harassment isn't a good look

DA and I can see it just fine? It's just three posts for now, isn't it?

Literally why would you put this here, you absolutely won't get sympathy for "oops my toxic masculinity" in a community comprised mostly of afab people

don't blame their personality disorder for that. bipolar and borderline stigma is real.

fwiw anon i think if it was a one time thing, you didn't hurt her, and you apologized and tried to do better, then there's a good chance she doesn't even think about it anymore. i'm glad you've made the effort to be more self aware and hope it gets easier for you in the future.

people are going to give you shit about it because they can't help being dicks on anon, but not everyone is judging you. some of us are just happy those impulses are something more people are trying to move away from.

Hey anon I just wanna throw it out there that I support you and hope you find a way to heal. I'm sorry you experienced such awful abuse from people who should have loved you in the way that you deserve, and I'm sorry what should be a happy time of year for you is a source of such pain. It's not fucked up to recognize and acknowledge the abuse you received—abuse is abuse, and calling it what it is is part of the healing process.

If there are barriers preventing you from accessing a therapist, I hope you at least have a trusted friend willing to let you share about these feelings with them. This nonny is rooting for you and your healing.

not being a dick

i've been in the same room as a fist going through the wall. you think about it.

as a repeat abuse victim who is afab (a term i hate, personally -- and before anyone tries to come for me, i am literally trans lmao) i have to be honest...i am sympathetic to you and i think you clearly show signs of wanting to be better and grow past what happened. it probably does haunt her, but it also wasn't an incident born of malice or bad intent. you apologized and owned up to it, which contrary to what others may say, is something that really matters. and i come from the pov of having lived with physical violence alongside threats of it my entire life.

i hope you get the help you need. i don't even mean this in a patronizing way, and i sincerely don't judge you for this. this is definitely something you need to work through and i have faith that with the right steps you will.

im glad op is self aware and trying to get better but i guarantee you she still thinks about it. it's fucking terrifying when someone much bigger than you and able to overpower you gets so angry they start breaking shit. that's not something you forget, even if the trauma is healed

genuinely curious if it's not too personal- what is your preferred term in this context if not afab?

da who also hates those terms - i'd rather not be referred to in a way that makes it really clear the person talking about me just wants to make a point about my genitals. it's rarely actually necessary to know what someone was assigned at birth but people use it as shorthand all the time. just say "women" or "men" (but the issue some have with those terms is that they include trans men and women by default, oh no).

watch out anon ime the general consensus around these parts is that telling someone they hurt you is vindictive and abusive and that you probably deserved it

i do think OP could've posted this elsewhere with more constructive feedback but this sums it up.

obviously everyone is going to have different reactions to everything. but i would be very fortunate if one moment of (an apparently ex)partner punching a shower wall, while the water was running (therefore was not only out of sight but likely drowned out by the water anyways) haunted me after 10 years. this may pop up in her mind every-so-often, but, realistically she has moved on from this incident. you should too

aw nonny, we all make mistakes and scare/hurt people on accident sometimes. what's important is that you realized what you did, apologized, and prioritized responding in a different way going forward.

that said, anger/frustration is a normal human emotion to feel, some people feel it more powerfully than others, and sometimes you just gotta figure out how to vent it in safe ways, esp if you feel like it's a point of tension you grapple with. the cathartic smash can be in a videogame, hacking up veggies, driving into an empty field for a good yell, tearing apart a pizza and eating it in the most unhinged way imaginable. i hope you're able to work on it with support and that you and your former gf are well

i think just men, women and nonbinary people is fine. and if whether or not the person is cis or trans is something that factors into the conversation, i’d use trans man or trans women.

How strongly would you judge someone for playing a character with a backstory full of ableist tropes in their canon backstory, if the player in question had a note about trying to do better than canon somewhere on their journal?

i do not judge people for the characters they play and don't particularly care whether they try to do better than canon.

it... literally isn't, though?

unless you happen to be saying this because you're a certain player recently banned from almost the entire community, in which case: you were roundly condemned because you WERE vindictive and abusive, in front of god and everyone, you absolute numpty

weird of you to assume i haven't

there's a difference between occasionally remembering a terrifying thing that happened and being haunted

as someone who's been through that, personally, i think i'm allowed to say not everyone experiences the latter for every single incident

i don't get the joke. you should explain

anon sometimes unchecked anything can cause serious emotional damage to others. they need to be able to talk and work through it without someone sweeping in immediately to cast them as Wrong. op has already expressed not talking about it most of the time despite how badly its affected them i think a quick vent in a rl woes thread is alright

pretty sure this is against tos, fellas

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oh, dreamwidth park is lonely in the dark/all the horny memes have no tag-outs

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