may your cup o'erfill with delicious smut

[socksuke_uchiha]

Rundown: rpanons is an anonymous community for role-play related topics. This place serves as a forum for game discussions, canon discussions, RP solicitations (ATP, game ads, open memes), and advice. The occasional off topic comment is inevitable, but please keep heated social and political topics to their respective communities. Posting them here will only get them frozen. Subsequent threads made to bypass a freeze will then be deleted.

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Comments

Re: RP Woes

[(Anonymous)]

I want to join a sex game because it looks like fun but due to certain personal reasons I'm like way too uptight to chill out and fully enjoy playing in one.

I've got dueling sides of my brain, the part that thinks it'd be fun and interesting and the part that's too uncomfortable with it. Over time that might stop being a problem but in the meantime I'm sighing outside at the window with my hands and face pressed against the glass.

Re: RP Woes

[(Anonymous)]

this was me a few years back, until i took a chance with tanagura and hopped onto it with a hardmode character. it was pretty hardcore for my first sex game, but i enjoyed enough to stick around for years, and people i rped with were happy to play out slowburn until my character and i go comfortable. i say take a chance and app into your sex game of choice, anon!

Re: RP Woes

[(Anonymous)]

I probably will eventually! I just need to get over a few hangups. I don't want to be that person that's an awkward prude when other people are just trying to have fun.

Re: RP Woes

[(Anonymous)]

rooting for you!

da

[(Anonymous)]

how do you get over "stagefright" for lack of a better term?

Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

understand that probably no one but your thread partner is going to be reading your thread

+1

[(Anonymous)]

da but this is correct

and 90% of the time they/you won't read it again once the thread is over

let your tags fly into the void, anon. live in the moment!

Re: +1

[(Anonymous)]

followup - i'm definitely not on the level of joining a game but i want to tag around on bs. is it more common for people to be normal about smut than to have ic-ooc bleed? i've heard horror stories about partners trying to push relationships ic, but how common actually is that?

and do you guys have any advice on what makes smut tags 'good'? i know that 'don't pillowqueen' is a big one but that's not really a concern for me - i almost exclusively write characters who would be tops/doms and am more interested in the giving side of things so advice geared more toward that would be great. and is the goal to write stuff that would be hot? like in a writing style similar to erotica? or do you just play it out like you'd write any other scene, style wise?

basically it looks like fun but i'm scared to dive into the pool because i don't want to make an ass out of myself lol

ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

be honest that it’s your first smut game/what-have-you. if your character is difficult to get along with, then let people know. get yourself started slowly, gen it up. if an event has some kinks that pique your interest, hop on it, ask someone to rp it out with you. and remind yourself that no one else is going to read the thread except your thread partner. if you’re feeling stuck, just try to get something out, don’t wait until your “brain gets something together” because that’s just building you up to something, but the moment you sit down to write again, you might lose your nerve.

(frozen comment) thread op, cw: sexual assault

[(Anonymous)]

Okay so I do have a question and I guess it has to do with the way dwrp handles kinks and stuff. And you can ignore this if you want bc of the cw.

And please take this without any judgment like I'm not looking badly at people for this and it's coming from a place of feelings and feelings aren't always rational. But usually the rare times I've played smut with like friends I usually pick the kinks based on what I think the character would like but a lot of people pick the kinks based on what they personally like? Sometimes in conflict with what the character likes. And not in games meant to be transgressive where people are interested in exploring the shame and complicated stress of it, but games where it's more hugboxy.

And I think alongside personal hang ups due to like an attempted assault I faced from a friend as a kid, I have a little trouble with the fact it's so personal. I think it's because of a vague feeling (that nobody's trying to do on purpose) of engaging in something that gets them off personally rather than the character.

I know people are polite and it's looked badly upon if anyone actually says they're getting off on it. But because of what they choose it's like partly a fear of being an unwilling participant in what gets their motor running rather than just exploring all the interesting thoughts an feelings characters have during sex.

I would never bring this up with someone if I think it looks like kinky stuff is what they're vibing on instead of the character vibing. So as a way of avoiding that, are people chill if you're just quietly not interested? Because my way of avoiding that would just be I wouldn't progress to smut if instead of "oh this makes sense for the character" it's more a kink list that seems really conflicted with the character and therefore more about what the player is into.

And also how do people handle the communication around that? Are they good about those boundaries and not letting any of their own feelings bleed in? A few times that I've almost set up a psl or apped (and quickly dropped) a game, I got kind of put off by people being like "mmm yeah hot" because I don't really want that crossover into player feelings. I'm just into the character feelings.

So I don't know if it's a ground I can safely navigate now, or a ground I have to stay away from unless my shit has reached a point of not being an issue getting in my (or the other players') way anymore.

(frozen comment) Re: thread op, cw: sexual assault

[(Anonymous)]

i think if this is your issue you might have a harder time in smut games? i don't think anyone would mind specifically but people in smut games play out what they want to play out and i think it is much much rarer to find people in smut games who only play out exclusively things their character would be into. additionally i'm not sure you'd like smut game events that usually enable characters to do things they wouldn't usually be into.

(frozen comment) ayrt

[(Anonymous)]

No I'm more interested in sex-friendly hugboxy stuff to begin with rather than something like duplicity so I'd probably skip sex pollen kinda stuff and do more of the stuff that's a natural extension of character relationships. I mean my characters aren't prudes so them just vibing with someone isn't that hard.

It's more the ooc handling and attitudes around it that I'm like eeeh on. I know it absolutely would not be anyone's intent but I don't want it to feel like cybering and if that's hard to politely avoid it's still no go.

(frozen comment) Re: thread op, cw: sexual assault

[(Anonymous)]

honestly it sounds like you're not in a place where you can/should be playing smut. it's totally fine if you don't want to do that, lots of people will fade to black.

to be honest most of the time when someone is like "mm hot" it's not necessarily because they find it hit, it's just a way to say they enjoy that idea or whatever, but if you're being upset just seeing that sort of thing then I think it's not a good idea for you to force yourself to be in that space. you're clearly experiencing a lot of IC/OOC crossover here and that's not a fun thing to play against or be writing. if I were you I would stay away from smut or kinks until you feel more comfortable and can deal with other layers talking about it without being triggered.

(frozen comment) Re: thread op, cw: sexual assault

[(Anonymous)]

I'm not really triggered, that's kind of extreme, more just mildly uncomfortable. I will say I don't really think it's fair to say I have ic/ooc bleed. I'm actually more afraid other people do, or at least that the way they communicate makes it sound like they do even if they don't intend it.

If that's commonly the case, it's definitely not for me and I'll probably continue to only play it with friends. They don't even communicate that way specifically for me, they're just not the types to communicate that way in general so I wasn't sure if other people were like that.

(frozen comment) da

[(Anonymous)]

i'll be real with you, you probably won't do well in sex positive games playing any sex if your outlook is constantly worrying about if other players are getting off on it. in general ooc venues of communication openly have people talking about finding their threads hot or what they like. people don't really say they're getting off to things in my experience but given your specific misgivings i very much doubt you'd be comfortable in the usual environment.

and if you drop threads often for this reason i'm not sure there would be a way to explain why that wouldn't get you put on blast, so you'd probably get labeled a flake at best assuming no one found out why? so overall i agree with the other anon that it doesn't sound like you're ready for these kinds of games.

(frozen comment) DA

[(Anonymous)]

anon, people aren't experiencing ic/ooc bleed for playing kinks they're oocly interested in putting their character in, rather than kinks that are "ic" for the character. people do smut for a variety of reasons. i like the feels aspect of it, but i can also look at a canonmate and go "size difference, nice, lets thread it".

the reason we're saying you may be experiencing ic/ooc is because you are (inadvertently, i believe) painting everyone with the same brush. when the basis of your idea (outside of the trauma you've experienced) is "i think people playing kinks that are ooc for their character means they're getting off on it to some degree"? people are also going to be a little upset.

i do agree you sound like you'd be a poor fit for a game that had a lot of sex. BUT if someone told me they weren't interested in smutting with my character, i would not be offended. i'd just take the statement at face value. you could also state you're only interested in fading to black.

(frozen comment) Re: thread op, cw: sexual assault

[(Anonymous)]

Not to be rude, but it does sound like you have ic/ooc bleed because you're fixating on the possibility other people do due to your own trauma.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

It sounds like you'd do best sticking with a circle of trusted friends tbh. I don't think it's impossible for you or anything but weighing how much you want to explore that aspect of characterization through writing vs the potential discomfort you might encounter because of content, I can't say "Go for it" in good faith. At the core of it, it just sounds like you have some things you'd want to work out for your own comfort before you jump into the deep-end of making yourself approachable for that kind of thing.

There is a chance that you might vibe okay with "sex-friendly" games that facilitate sex without there being AC around it, with the caveat that you have to be very choosy with the circle you build. People will generally be very respectful of a "not interested" and if they're not, you block them and move on before it ever reaches the point of threading anything explicit.

My experience with even games like Prisma was that I never had a problem ignoring it completely outside of when it was convenient for plots I wanted to do with people I was already comfortable with. It hardly came up without being proactive about it. It just comes down to saying you're interested in pursuing more gen or chemistry-based CR and prompts, then following up with the people you interact with through those to see if they mesh with your communication styles before you get into anything nsfw.

I'm similarly uncomfortable with people calling things like mmm hot like mid-thread not for any particular reason but I just think it's weird. It's the fact that I think people are more likely to want to write kinks they're into (even just in the sense that they think they're interesting) than stay strictly in-character for that stuff. If that alone is enough to give you cause for uncertainty, you need to work on reassuring yourself and being comfortable with the fact that the divide can and does still exist in these cases.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

This is great insight and advice and the most helpful comment I've gotten by far.

I do know I have some of my own stuff to still work through but part of it all is that just like dwrp in general, smut rp kind of has certain unspoken rules of etiquette or assumptions or shorthand that sometimes lets people have a zen about potential unknowns because they generally know most people are chill about something. I have to get more comfortable about that on my end but part of it's getting a bead on people playing a type of game I've barely dipped my toe in the water on, that has its own rules. When you're 100% on the outside looking in, you have to get the lay of the land before being able to trust people are going to approach things honestly and good faith. After all there are horror stories that filter around so it's not like it's immediately obvious there's a majority that are considerate and that it's not more of a mixed bag.

And I'm definitely not the only one figuring out an approach judging by the fact a few anons asked some questions. I just have a different issue.

I think when I am a touch more comfortable I'll take up your suggestions and start with a very hugboxy game with no smut AC and communicate my boundaries up front so people don't get into anything that they might see as a waste of time.

It just comes down to saying you're interested in pursuing more gen or chemistry-based CR and prompts, then following up with the people you interact with through those to see if they mesh with your communication styles before you get into anything nsfw.

That's great advice and along with building a circle I'm comfortable with, it's a good way of dipping my toes in after I feel on steadier ground with my own business. I honestly think there are probably plenty of people I'd be comfortable with in the long run it's just a matter of dealing with more of my own stuff and then figuring out a chill way to ease in someday.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm glad if it could help, I had worried I'd tl;dr'd there a little too hard there for no reason. But yeah I have no doubt that there's plenty of people you'd be able to thread this stuff with comfortably, it's just getting to the point where you feel reasonably prepared to deal with the ones you aren't. No matter how thorough your vetting process is for this there's always going to be a chance that someone might slip through the cracks who you don't vibe with in the end and it's better if you feel ready for that possibility.

(frozen comment) Re: thread op, cw: sexual assault

[(Anonymous)]

There's always the consideration that it's about the exercise of writing a certain kind of kink and has nothing to do with them getting off on it. Even if it seems wrong to you for the muse.

Which also brings up the point that how you see the muse and how the writer sees them is not the same. How can you decide what's ic for their muse and what isn't?

(frozen comment) Re: thread op, cw: sexual assault

[(Anonymous)]

That's a good point.

As to answer your question, sometimes you're familiar with a character. If someone plays Superman, it's probably not IC that he has a kink for getting rawed against his will by bald men. I don't care about whether it's actually ic or not, because people should be allowed to take their own interpretation, but if I played a bald character I'd probably quietly not interact because that's possibly more the player's thing and I don't want to be involved. It might not be! But I'd just play it safe.

When you don't know the character, you can sometimes just put it out of mind and not worry about it, but sometimes the player talks about the kinks a certain way. Again, you can quietly not interact.

Now I have a question. Why are so many people upset about what my personal thoughts might be while politely going "hey, can we ftb?" or "hey, think we can end the thread here?" It's not like anyone I was threading with would ever know what I'm thinking, especially if I advertised ahead of time that I preferred to mostly ftb like one of the anons suggested below. There are sex-friendly hugbox games where there's not smut ac and people are comfortable with ftbs.

None of you are anymore psychic than I am and I think you're more worried about potentially being shamed inside someone's head than about their comfort. It's not like I'd be assuming everyone was a pervert, it's just being a little more guarded based on things I know are definitely hypotheticals.

(frozen comment) Re: thread op, cw: sexual assault

[(Anonymous)]

wtf is this entire comment

(frozen comment) Re: thread op, cw: sexual assault

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, you’re here typing all these thoughts out now, so they aren’t in your head anymore. So people are reacting to them. Not that hard to figure out.

(frozen comment) Re: thread op, cw: sexual assault

[(Anonymous)]

i'm personally uncomfortable with the thought of rping with you because you are very clearly hung up on your trauma and i don't want to be involved with that ngl