rpanons | may your cup o'erfill with delicious smut

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yeah, it sucks to not have friends in the same fandom as you. i don't have anyone to talk to about that stuff and i'm usually the one getting into new fandoms for people (but not vice versa) so i can relate to this. even when you're aware it's irrational, it's still a feels bad moment.

yup... sorry you're in the same boat, anon. it really does suck because i don't want to just talk with random people about the thing i like, i want to talk to my friends and they just don't care. and they have every right to not care if it's not something that interests them! so it just feels bad. and it feels bad to feel bad because i'm being completely unreasonable.

If you get into your friends' fandoms, then you are in the same fandom with them, even if it's been a one-way street to get there.

You almost make it sound like you aren't genuinely into their fandoms, only pretending it.

not ayrt but the anon they replied to, but this is a really uncharitable way to read that comment. i don't pretend to be in the fandom my friends are in. i have genuinely enjoyed engaging in the things that they like. but it's disheartening that i always join their fandoms but they never join mine. it sucks when your friendship feels like a one way street.

this basically. i enjoy the fandoms i join for my friends, but i also have fandoms i'm more into. it's just a bummer no one is really interested in them.

i feel you. i've stopped bringing up my interests to certain friends because they're very nice, but they suck at indulging me. (of course they're perfectly fine spamming our private chat with fanart from shows i don't watch or sharing threads with characters from canons i don't play from and i am of course expected to share their enthusiasm and no i'm not annoyed by this imbalance at all.)

recently had this pain where it wasn't even about different fandoms, it was them gushing about their character with all their favorite ships or about their character's favorite X Y and Z's while not only being glacially slow with our own threads, but barely engaging about anything i had to say about either our characters or mine. for a while they were super engaging but the honeymoon period has clearly passed. i stopped engaging as much and now that i'm not talking about their character specifically they've pulled back, too.

they're good enough people, but i am bummed that they've lost interest in the dynamic we briefly had a lot of fun over.

oof i am really sorry, anon. i've known a few people like that who as soon as the shiny wears off, it becomes clear they like hearing the sound of their own voice a lot more than they like having a conversation. it was hard for me to learn that pulling back was the only thing to do when that honeymoon period ended and it's not much of a consolation to know that it was fun while it lasted.

how is this such a common experience? I had this almost exact same thing happen. At a certain point I realized they were never actually going to thread with me or engage when we talked about literally anything other than their character. they just liked having a captive audience to post "wouldn't my character look sexy in this" and "ooh listen to how good my ship is" at. it was really jarring to realize, and made me feel like shit for a while until I stepped back and focused on developing CR with people who actually seemed willing to engage.

I don't think they're a bad person, just a bit self-centered and oblivious. their threads, when you can get them, are engaging. but I just don't have it in me to keep riding the one-way friendship train.

it's frustrating. i get everyone gets more leeway during covid, but managing my own expectations over finding out someone is only minimally interested in bridging the gap from having a few really fun threads to working on more and/or chatting about friendly things oocly has taken more of my bandwidth than it used to, too.

I think some people in this hobby are just self-absorbed and only care about what they, personally, are getting out of their interactions with you. I'm the type of person who likes to hear about the things that make my rp partners happy, even if they're not things i am personally interested in, so I don't mind listening! it makes me happy that they're happy. it's just when it's obviously one-sided, like when they bug me to talk about their interests but then immediately brush me off if i ever try to talk about mine, that it bothers me.

other anons in this thread are right, the only thing you can do when this happens is just pull back. it's not worth constantly second-guessing yourself and wondering if you/your interests are just too boring to care about or you're selfish for being bothered by the lack of reciprocation. find the people who will reciprocate and focus your energy on them.

this. don't waste your time with people who are so self-centered. it is not selfish to be bothered about this. i don't always care about the exact same things that my friends or rp partners care about, but i do care about them and i care about making them happy. if they're always brushing off your interests, redirect your energy to kinder people.

this is just a basic part of friendships/relationships in general. i'm getting very close to cutting the cord on someone myself because they always only want to talk about THEIR fandoms and THEIR interests and whenever i try to talk about mine, they're very clearly disinterested. it makes the friendship feel totally one-sided and it's not fun.

Acting like you enjoy a series around your friends when you actually dislike it would be pretending. This is just about being sad when nobody is interested in return.

may your cup o'erfill with delicious smut

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