socksuke_uchiha ([personal profile] socksuke_uchiha) wrote in [community profile] rpanons2017-10-15 12:54 pm

bats are the cutest rabies babies

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(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
a couple months ago i was playing out a few different psls with someone and kinda lost interest. for a solid month we'd talk every day and when i started getting busy with irl stuff i was talking to them a bit less. after a while i just wasn't interested in talking to them much because every conversation turned into discussing the canon/ship we played from and i'd dropped our threads a while ago. i admit i've ignored a few messages from them recently that weren't about our threads and even if they've never bugged me for tags i just... didn't want to talk to them at the time. i needed a break. it's been about a month since we talked.

i went to go check on our old psls because i wanted to reread them and found they'd kicked my journals out of their musebox. our posts were mostly smutty so they're locked and there's no way i can read them now. would it be inappropriate to ask them for access so i can read these threads again?

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
yes, very.

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
honestly? yeah. they reached out to you to talk to you, even outside of the canon/psl, and you ignored them. you are completely in your right to do that and you're not forced to play or talk to them, but if you're going to sour a relationship that i assume is taking place in their musebox, this is the risk you run.

look at it from their perspective. you guys were having fun. you got bored. you stopped all communication with them. they respected your decision, left you alone, and because it's their musebox and maybe they want to play with another partner involving smutty things, they removed your journals. i know you're not saying they're in the wrong here, but i think it would be pretty ballsy of you to just go up and say 'hey, i still don't want to play with you, but can i have access to the shit we wrote so i can read it?'

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
in retrospect it was pretty immature of me to jump ship without giving them any indication that i was dropping our threads and communication in general. even if i wanted to get back around to talking to them, i should've been an adult and told them i was going to take a break. turns out they have me removed on the app we used to chat on too so i've got to just suck it up and not repeat the same mistakes in the future. thank you, anon.

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
at least you're owning up that it's on you. that's better than half the people that come here that might make a similar complaint. i wish you luck, anon. i know it sucks to lose out on stuff that you might have enjoyed looking back on, but without communication or anything like that, you can't expect your partners to know what you're thinking or that you need a break.

good luck.

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
agreeing with the other anons that it'd be p inappropriate of you to ask for access to their musebox after ignoring them. if you really want to reread the threads you can always just go through your email notifs, i guess?

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
you can still send them a pm on dreamwidth so i'd say try that. it's worth a shot.

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 06:10 am (UTC)(link)
da if you send them a pm i would just send an apology and not ask for anything unless they respond to that. basically explaining why you did it and how you realize it was a dick move like you did here and leave it up to them if they want to talk to you again.

+1

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
If you want to apologize (which tbh it sounds like OP isn't invested enough for) then aplogize, but I can't imagine starting off with "HEY CAN I GET MY STUFF BACK FROM THE GARAGE" going over well.

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 09:09 am (UTC)(link)
possibly, but you should still do it.

your thread partner sounds like a baby. there's lots of people i don't talk to anymore that are still members of my musebox since they have threads in there. i'm not gonna restrict their access to their own work just because they pissed me off oocly. idk why it's so widely acceptable to do otherwise.

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 09:17 am (UTC)(link)
possibly because if someone makes a musebox that they have kinky smut in, they're doing it because they don't feel comfortable playing it in public. and if someone is now on the outs with them, they might not want them to have access to a place where they might want to play with other people in and feel safe/comfortable doing so. if you want to have people still have access to your musebox, that's your prerogative, but it's also theirs to want to keep their musebox limited to active partners.

you sound a bit like an entitled ass, tbh. they admitted they fucked up in the first place and cut communication. respecting that and removing them from their rping isn't 'being a baby'. it's just moving on. unless it's a mutually made musebox that was used only for the purpose of those psls, then the maker has every right to make it a comfortable place for them to continue using. tbh, i'd take someone booting a player they don't play with anymore and still using the musebox than letting it sit there and picking up a new one and taking yet another username for something when they have a space to use already.

if you join a smut game and drop it and it's a locked smut game when you join it, do you expect to just be able to stay in and read your old threads because you want to? no. same difference.

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 09:52 am (UTC)(link)
and for this reason, i don't join locked games

i do agree that everyone can do whatever they please with their own communities. no arguments.

it still perplexes me in theory. what's the big deal? some people that you did actually play with at some point having access is not the same as it being "in public".

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 09:57 am (UTC)(link)
and some people aren't comfortable with someone they're no longer friendly with having access to their 'safe place'. i know that's a dumb phrase to use here, but it doesn't change the fact that locked games are locked because players want to know they can play things in a game setting without someone dragging it out into the public to mock them over (which happens all the time and is covered against on wg since it's a locked game). museboxes don't have that same guarantee other than 'why are you shitting on it, it's a musebox', so if you're no longer playing with someone, i can completely understand wanting to cover your ass and keep yourself from ridicule. not everyone is amenable in psl 'breakups'. some people are nasty about it. op seems to be pretty levelheaded and that's good to see, but there are some nasty folk out there who wouldn't hesitate to use that foot in the door to embarrass or insult someone if they were that type of person.

you might not be, and hey, yay for you, but others can be. it's just easier for some people to cover their ass and remove that kind of possibility from happening. i feel like maybe you're looking at it from your perspective, but put yourself in the situation of people with grudgewankers or stalkers or just nasty individuals. you have people that won't unfriend someone on plurk so they can just sit there and popcorn someone they hate. you have people that stalk/harass people into trying to get them to force someone to play with them because they feel entitled to that time/effort. not everyone in dwrp is levelheaded and decent.

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 10:08 am (UTC)(link)
ooh. i actually did not consider this, as i personally tend not to worry about anoncomm opinions, and most of my immediate circle doesn't have rp harassment stories. so thank you for putting it in this perspective.

it makes a lot more sense now.

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 10:11 am (UTC)(link)
i have to laugh just a little because you're on an anoncomm, voicing your opinion about the op's ex partner being a baby. even something as banal is that kind of proves my point. add someone who is genuinely nasty (which i'm not saying you are) to that equation as the other party you were playing with and it's just a really nasty potential recipe.

but thank you for the chance to have a discussion about this that didn't devolve into insults and slurs.

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 10:17 am (UTC)(link)
yw

i just don't like the idea of rp necessarily having to come with the baggage of friendship, which is what most "we drifted apart and i got kicked from everywhere" stories tend to entail, so i felt obliged.

(Anonymous) 2017-10-22 10:23 am (UTC)(link)
as someone who has recently had to deal with someone i tagged with once trying to pester me into continuing to tag with them when i didn't want to, it's not just about friendships and assumed connections. i'm not very pro bff on here and i don't get close to people, so any negative associations i've personally had haven't been from slighting someone over anything deep, but i've seen people get their feelings hurt over my not wanting to continue a single thread with them, so...

the basic rule of thumb is just to remember that like life, there are assholes on here as well. and you don't have to do anything to attract them, they're just there. and you can do everything right and still be shat on. or you could wind up being the asshole yourself because ~feelings. i dunno. people never fail to disappoint me in just how batshit they can get over the dumbest shit. it makes it easier for me to see how it can be a smart thing to take preventative measures against potential dinks.