Not only are opposite-sex friendships within marriage risky, they are a form of betrayal. When a person gets married or enters into an exclusive committed relationship, that person expects to be his or her partner's lover, closest and most intimate confidante, and priority. Of course, we all need close friendships outside of our marriage; however, there are plenty of people of our own gender to befriend.

In my opinion, it's simply foolish to disregard the strong association between opposite-sex friendships in marriage and infidelity. Deciding that these have no place in your marriage is one of the wisest and most pro-active measures you can take to protect the integrity of your relationship in the long-term.

It isn't weak or insecure to do this. It takes a strong person to stand by their values and to insist that there be no opposite-sex friendships within marriage. It takes a secure person to say, "I'm not living like this. I won't live with the uncertainty and the anxiety and the divided loyalties. I won't pretend that I'm not hurt because you're putting energy into this friendship instead of our relationship."

Stand by your values and vision of marriage -- you know, that whole "forsaking all others" business -- and trust your instincts.