rpanons | You sound fat

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Or: you bring your five-year-old to me and I tell you if they're doing the things a five-year-old should be doing.

Strange because I was a cashier and I rarely saw the best out of humanity. I tended to see the worst, so this random old lady who paid for strangers' groceries was pretty bizarre.

I definitely don't get enough of it from my plurk list.

well it is their fault for getting that fat in the first place

that shit takes a lot of effort, and i say that as someone who gained 30 lbs because i was a lazy slob

yeah fucking right

I hope it made you smile. It's nice remembering her, she was probably the only reason I could stand working on Fridays.

Do you have any animals that are your favorite to just watch when you have the chance? And/or did working in a zoo change your opinion on any particular animals?

What's the biggest misconception parents seem to have about their five-year-olds, if there is one?

Specifically five-year-olds, or kids in general? I work with 2-5, typically (sometimes as low as 1 or as high as 6, but it's rare).

well, sorry, but about 1200 cal or so is pretty normal for the rest of us. but I fucking promise you, PROMISE YOU, no one is getting fat off 500 calories or whatever bullshit near death number people like to throw around for shock value

people have different bodies, sure, but at some point you're just telling lies

ideky but i honestly laughed really hard at this, thank you anon

I found exactly what I was looking for! Thanks Anon!

This is interesting stuff too, I had no idea it was so complicated.

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Oops sorry, misread. Any age you work with is fine!

I love watching bears wander around. they're very expressive and curious animals and I could watch them roll about and scratch their heads with their back paws for hours. I used to not really have an opinion on apes but after being close to chimps for this long I've really come to loathe them. My boss describes them perfectly as "perpetual teenagers who are put in prison." they hold the exact same temperament for the rest of their life after they turn two years old.

(calling a zoo "prison" is a joke, the animals are very content and have ample space to run about. just in case anyone comes in rallying to free the animals a la Curly from Hey Arnold)

I think a lot of parents actually underestimate kids as a whole at this age. They're capable of a lot more than people tend to think they are. Obviously no four-year-old is doing calculus, but a typically-developing kid of that age can also do some pretty impressive reasoning. I hear a lot of parents saying things like, "I didn't realize kids are supposed to be able to do [thing] at that age."

On the other hand, I also see parents underestimating their own kids way more than I'm happy about. There have been times I've had to sit down with them and be like, "Okay, here are all the ways your kid is awesome, please treat them that way."

god i also hate apes

any horrible ape stories?

who was the most fun kid you've ever treated?

I started getting fat when I was five because my parents were abusive. That definitely sounds like my fault.

What the fuck are you talking about? 1200 is what most dieting programs recommend to lose weight. Most programs strictly warn against going below that number.

their indoor containment has a hallway right beside it that I have to walk down to do work. my boss told me, "Take a trash can lid with you," and I didn't understand, so I just grabbed one and held it while walking past. the bars are criss-crossed like chain link fence in a way, and yet I still instantly got feces thrown at me through it and one of the chimps threw a plastic outdoor toy against the door in an effort to scare me. worked very well. I realized that the lid was a poop shield.

chimps are horrifyingly smart.

puns welcome, no underscores plz

Haha this is really going to out me if I wasn't already outed, because I talk about this all the fucking time, but I used to work with this 5-year-old boy with autism and he was easily my all-time favorite kid. He had a serious temper and would get frustrated and violent with every adult that wasn't his mother or me, but for whatever reason we just had this amazing rapport. He bit me once on our very first day and then it never, ever happened again. He used to follow me around like a baby duckling and quote Dora at me for no reason. I seriously miss him all the damn time, he was the best.

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You sound fat

child development specialist

Re: former Wal-Mart cashier

+1

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MASK OR MENACE

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da

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Greg Universe | Steven Universe

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