rpanons | I'm bad at this

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there's a way to avoid that though

idk why this is so hard for people

yeah and that's one way

i mean i'm not advocating the use of "bluenette" or anything but "the blonde" (even if both characters are blonde it's still easy to tell from context who's being talked about) isn't unusual or anything wank worthy tbh

Oh no, definitely not wank worthy and they're not a bad writer. But when you say something like "the blonde" It's implicit in the "the" that they'd be the only blonde.

When you use a descriptor in that context though they should be the only person around who fits it.

eh, i disagree. but lbr the evidence of all our weirdo rp threads and this website itself probably isn't going to even be around in 10 more years, so whatevs

Care to share how? I'd appreciate some tips, anon.

This is more of a general writing tip than anything, but varying the length of your sentences and the type of sentences you use helps a lot. Your paragraph(s) can contain "he said he looked he twitched he flailed he laughed he scoffed he shrugged etc." without sounding too repetitive if you mix things up a little.

Here's part of a long-ish tag where my character was doing a bunch of stuff by himself:

"The behemoth thing teetered, and Levi's eyes widened as it began to tip — in a direct path to smash the wall.

It had to be well-fortified, but who knew what kind of damage the impact could do? Levi's face compressed manically as he fired both cables into the titan's back. He dropped from its left shoulder and heaved, using his gas to alter the trajectory of its collapse.

He succeeded, but only partially. The titan's face smeared the lower quarter of the wall and its neck made a grisly crunch as the body settled, but the thick stone remained well intact. For his efforts, Levi landed face-first into the ground; along with a timely burst of gas, the softness of it cushioned his fall.

Levi stood, then spat and wiped at his eyes. He soared back towards the gate where a shorter, beady-eyed titan approached the opening, lurching and sluggish. Swinging down, Levi lead with his blade and slashed open its back, cutting a swath from neck to ass. It howled, and he silenced it with a cleaner blow.

Now they had their opening. Levi launched himself onward, heading for the tie-out."

Sensory details and observations are also a good way to break up a list of actions. Your character is never going to be acting in a void. Have the world react to him/her, and vice versa. Every action should have some kind of effect or purpose, otherwise there's no point in including it.

Shit just takes practice. Keep trying and experimenting and you'll get better.

Thanks for the example. I need to read that a few times to really get it but it seems that you use he/she/it and the character's name approximately every other time. I've tried to do that but the sentences still sound clunky sometimes.

It's less about pronoun usage and more about the flow of the prose. (Using "he" or "she" is almost always fine as long as its clear who he or she is.) If your sentences start out with he/she or the character's name every time (or a lot of the time) then that's when things can get noticeably clunky and repetitive. No simple sentence is clunky on its own. If you use a good variety of sentences and other words, no one is going to notice how many times you use "he" or "she."

Like, imagine when you're really into a book. You're not sitting their nitpicking the word choice, you're engaged with the story and the characters. That's the effect you're trying to create for your RP partner: fun and engaging.

Honestly, so much of this stuff is subjective, anyway. Read some Hemingway or Cormac McCarthy if you want some examples of dudes who made a killing sticking to simple, fairly repetitive styles. ("Economical" and "understated" styles if you're a lit douchebag.)

I'm bad at this

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OP

Re: OP

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da

ayrt

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