rpanons | Warning: contains peanuts

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alright, let's do this.

when i was in middle school, i was a weird mallgoth weeb. being a weird mallgoth weeb, it was kind of hard for me to make friends, so i ended up latching onto the first people who were nice to me. one of these was a girl that i'll call alexa.

alexa was also a mallgoth weeb, who loved yaoi, and who had a big secret. there were other people in her head. they all had their own names and personalities and she could kind of...switch places with them and have them take over for a little.

i was 14, and i was lonely, and i was beginning to figure out how goddamn gay i was, and she was basically my only friend. figuring the best way to be one of the "cool" kids was to join em, i also decided that i, too, would have other people in my head!! and so i basically invented all these other personalities with backstories and names and the whole shebang and could...i guess now they call it "front" as them, idk what i called it back then. i was kind of into it because we could ship our personalities together because they were mostly dudes and we only cared about yaoi and that was cool.

at the time, i sort of visualized it like...walking down a dark hall with a bunch of doors, and then one of the doors would open and then a new...person would exist in my head. it was weird. i mostly did it because i liked having that connection to alexa, and we sort of...almost larped as them? it was weird.

anyway, a year or so later, i fell out of it because she decided to stop talking to me, and that was that i guess. it probably helped that i had limited internet use 10 years ago, so i never was able to get the attention and validation that i wanted from it, which helped to put that particular fire out.

it's not a super interesting story, but that's the story of me as a yaoi headmate multiple. eventually i realized that i wanted to be a dude, so i guess that said something about me after all.

that's fascinating. thank you for sharing!

I had a very similar experience, anon. my friend and I always just called it RP but it was a little deeper than that considering it was like... a thing we did pretty much constantly.

most of mine were dudes and tbh I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about being born female. very confusing...

Warning: contains peanuts

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