rpanons | 011b

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A few years ago, my niece came to live with me and my parents (i.e. her paternal grandparents; her father is my half-brother) for a while after it was revealed that her father was physically, sexually and emotionally abusing her. He was emotionally and physically abusing his other kids- a younger boy and an older boy- as well. It took my niece years to work up the courage to tell someone. Her paternal grandmother (my dad's ex-wife; she and my dad divorced long before he met my mother) didn't believe her and called her a liar. She finally told a school counselor, who thankfully complied with the law and reported it to authorities. However, said authorities returned her to her abusive father after she'd been with us for a while, despite the accusations and evidence against him.

Her father got support from social workers, from judges, and from his church (I don't believe for one second that he actually believes in God; he just pretends to to get money and pity). He told everybody that he had no support from his family, despite the fact that my dad regularly gave him old furniture, vehicles, clothes, and money because he'd spend his child support money (and his older son's paychecks, which my nephew was forced to direct deposit into his father's bank account) gambling, betting on horse races, and going to bars and strip clubs. My half-brother's church members and social workers openly called my niece a liar. The bruises and strangle marks on the kids' bodies? Dismissed as being from horseplay. Their father's emotional abuse? Dismissed as him being "a stern father who sometimes overdid it", when he openly called his kids idiots and told other people how stupid and selfish they were. The younger son? Product of a relationship with a then 15-year-old girl (my half-brother was in his forties at the time). Yet somehow, despite the fact that this was statuatory rape, he was awarded custody of the child.

The finer details of this entire story would be enough to fill several comments, but my niece only got away from him when she turned 18 and became a legal adult so they could not force her to live with him. My parents and some of her maternal family members gave her money to start going to college, helped her with the sign-up processes and everything, and she got a job. She seemed on track to get her life right, when sadly but probably unsurprisingly, she didn't even start at school, quit her job, and got knocked up so she could (in her own words) get her own apartment and live on welfare for the rest of her life. Last I heard, she was in a relationship with an abusive boyfriend, and her mother and maternal grandmother won't let her in their houses because she steals from them.

Only one of my online friends and a handful of my RL friends know this story, and even then they don't know all the details. Partially because talking about it means I reexamine everything and wonder if we could have done anything to make this turn out differently, but mostly because I'm afraid people would think I was lying or overexaggerating. I still have trouble believing it, myself.

But damn, that felt good to get out.

This isn't a secret so much as it's telling your niece's life story for no good reason.

011b

trigger warning: child abuse, sexual abuse, incest

Re: trigger warning: child abuse, sexual abuse, incest