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inspired by the discussion going down on wankgate

players who can use one liners effectively, players who can give multiple paragraphs without tl;dr about the bedsheets, players who just in general don't suck at writing sex, lay em on me

My only answer here is that it really depends on your personal reading preference. I've smutted with some people previously listed as 'best' and I found it good but not great, and I've had the reverse happen as well. I can tell you who I stalk/enjoy threading with.

Ukitake - probably wins the best in the tl;dr for me. The thread with him and Byakuya is hot and heartbreaking (if you know the series). I give them both kudos.

Izaya - another good tl;dr and plays the character well by really getting into the nuts and bolts of what the city has done to him. I don't think I've not enjoyed reading one their threads.

Bruce/Walter - shorter tags, but man I think they're good. One of those who I think does succinct well.

Rise/Celty/Stocking - medium length in context of the game and seems to be very good at giving her characters distinct voices.

Corinthian/Uryuu - post length varies, seems to match that of tagging partner and just tons of fun to read.

Gosh, I can't even say that's my top five so much as the first five I thought of. I can only think of a few threads that I've been disinterested in continuing overall in the game. Most people tend to put thought into their tags and not just fire back something entirely generic which I've liked a lot.

Seconding Bruce-mun. I haven't had a single thread or conversation with them that wasn't tons of fun.

This is very much a ymmv issue and I don't think there's any one right answer/list for this question. Still there are some that are better than others. So here's my list.

Natasha
Long tags of high quality. Willing to work with a lot of kinks. Puts a lot of work into building lasting CR. Boomerangs her tags sometimes though not all the time. It may be worth it to talk OOC and see if you can work out a time if you want to tag very quickly.

Jefferson
Long tags of high quality. Seems very open to immediate smut without much buildup. Very fun character in general. I've also seen them boomerang tags sometimes. They also play Steve Rogers and while it seems harder to get smut with him under normal conditions the writing quality is consistent.

Jack Harkness
Shorter tags but easy to respond to. Not one liners but rarely multi-paragraphs. Seems willing to fuck just about anything without a lot of restrictions. Tags back very quickly.

Tumnus
Very quick tagger with average to above average quality content. Faun with non-standard anatomy which makes him a lot of fun to play with.

Poison Ivy
Very descriptive writing style without being overly flowery (no pun intended). Entertaining writer with a unique way of writing sex. It's not cookie-cutter smut with Ivy. She can sometimes be very slow but when she does tag back it's worth it.

Wing
Bright and bubbly character. Hermaphrodite and a robot so there's more you can do with them. Very willing to make new CR. Does not overly describe their settings but gives enough to work with.

Sherlock Holmes
The writing is fantastic though I haven't seen much from them lately. The Sherlock voice is spot on and the tags are always interesting and well thought out.

Maxi
Tags seem to come either really quickly or incredibly slowly. The content is good and the character is very inventive and easy so it makes it worth it if you have to wait sometimes. Don't count on them exclusively to make AC but you will enjoy your logs.

This is by no means a complete list but this is just what I've observed. I suggest you try out logging with as many people as you can and come to your own conclusions about who is the best for you and your writing style and pace.

i played with maxi a while back in tlh, and they were one of the bright spots in that dr. threading with him is a blast

...there's a Jack Harkness? Are they still around?

Nobody flicks me in the butt without my consent

BEST SMUTTERS

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