as someone who hates ghosting, i prefer to be turned down outright (politely ofc). it's why i ask the person i tag if they're ok with my character before typing up a starter in case their permissions post is sparse. if i ask and they don't reply at all? at least i didn't waste my time making up a starter and i can just find someone else to play with.
but i understand why players tend to be so antsy about confrontation and honesty even in low-stakes, pretendy fun times. about a decade ago, i made at top-level in a smut picture prompt meme and received three responses -- one of them was a castmate and the only one i threaded with. the other two? tlh rejects: some final fantasy character and some oc played by nemo. they gave me the most neckbeardy pics as prompts, like just zoom-ins of vaginas and scenes straight out of rape porn.
my response to them was a straightforward "sorry i'm not interested."
final fantasy player was all "thanks for letting me know, i'll delete my comments" lol. and they did as promised. nemo, on the other hand, was all "thank you, i'll be sure to avoid all of your characters in the near future!" and i was so confused because i only tagged around with one character... but hey, bullet dodged
point is, as long as you're cordial and respectful, turning down should be normalized.
Re: RP WOES
as someone who hates ghosting, i prefer to be turned down outright (politely ofc). it's why i ask the person i tag if they're ok with my character before typing up a starter in case their permissions post is sparse. if i ask and they don't reply at all? at least i didn't waste my time making up a starter and i can just find someone else to play with.
but i understand why players tend to be so antsy about confrontation and honesty even in low-stakes, pretendy fun times. about a decade ago, i made at top-level in a smut picture prompt meme and received three responses -- one of them was a castmate and the only one i threaded with. the other two? tlh rejects: some final fantasy character and some oc played by nemo. they gave me the most neckbeardy pics as prompts, like just zoom-ins of vaginas and scenes straight out of rape porn.
my response to them was a straightforward "sorry i'm not interested."
final fantasy player was all "thanks for letting me know, i'll delete my comments" lol. and they did as promised. nemo, on the other hand, was all "thank you, i'll be sure to avoid all of your characters in the near future!" and i was so confused because i only tagged around with one character... but hey, bullet dodged
point is, as long as you're cordial and respectful, turning down should be normalized.