this is still a skill issue thing bc every smut thread i've done does in fact start with 10+ tags of build up, gets another good 10-20 of actual fucking, and then has an at least 20 or more comment afterglow + potential round 2. you CAN actually have your cake and eat it too if you like writing it enough.

just be proactive and engage with the people you're writing smut with. be attentive to what they like and let them know what you like.