there's a difference between expecting mindreading and having your rp partner know you want dubcon/noncon (or h/c or ice cream on the beach or w/e), and it's another thing when both parties are having discussions in private oocly (so no, it's not stage fright) about the threads they want to have and the rp partner seeming eager to play something out and op seeming eager to go along with it and then nothing happening and it possibly being because the rp partner wants dubcon/noncon, but they aren't stating they want it when the discussions around their threads follow a consensual theme. it WOULD require mindreading on the part of the op to figure out that's what the fuck they want, and without knowing that h/c or dubcon or having ice cream licked out of their asshole is what they're going for, why the hell would they just blurt out 'by the way, i don't like/don't mind (insert thing here)'.

from what it seems like, op's going to just flat out ask them, so there you go, but in this instance, it's on the part of the person who wants the thing that isn't being discussed to open their mouth and bleat out what it is they want. op is not at fault here. whether they have a kink/preference page up or not (because lbr here, not everyone goes to read those. i sure as hell don't. but if i'm playing with someone, especially with someone i've planned something out and talk oocly to and have multiple threads with, if i wanted something or wasn't sure about something, i'd fucking ask). op's partner is giving mixed signals "My char would so jump your char. It's going to happen. All over your char." and then backing away/turning away op's char during multiple threads. they are discussing. one of them's just not being fucking honest with what they want.