Man, I have no horse in this particular race, but when did it become appropriate to treat dubcon/noncon as opt-out rather than opt-in? I'm pretty sure at one point the consensus was that anyone who tried to spring their rape kink* on another player when it wasn't agreed to was a total asshole who deserved to be dragged across the anoncomms.

*Not saying that's what OP's partner in specific is doing, it sounds like equal odds they're trying for something like a slap-slap-kiss dynamic while being too shitty a writer to pull it off.