op shouldn't have to be the first one to say "by the way, I don't want to play noncon/dubcon". given the nature of the kink, the responsibility to ask is on OP's partner, not them. you don't just assume someone is okay with any kink until they say otherwise. and no, consensual sex does not count as a kink that needs to be asked about first. they are two completely different worlds and your attempts to conflate them come of as disingenuous, and dare I assume, projecting.

basically, you need to pick a position, either noncon/dubcon is a default or it's not, you can't play this devil's advocate "both sides are wrong" nonsense with a topic like this.