what part of "that's not the point being debated here" don't you understand?

something's not clicking in your skull. i haven't said once that op's partner is right. that's purely assumption on your part (ironically).

what i'm saying is that they need to be upfront too. dwrp is always a two-way street, even in instances like this. if you, me or anyone else doesn't make our desires clear, then we don't have any room to complain when other people come along wanting to play something we haven't yet said no to (or rather we can complain, but it doesn't amount to more than a hill of beans)