i'll be obvious to my plurk but i need advice because i'm burnt out as fuck on rl.
i have to study something extremely boring for work --- it's literally the most boring thing that i've studied in my entire life --- and the pressure of being expected to study non-stop is really worsening my depression. i'm not kidding, my manager expects me to do at least 4 online practice tests a day, and they take 1.5-2 hours each (in total: 6-8 hours/day), even on my days off and the weekend. i don't do that because 2 practice tests a day is mind-numbingly boring enough, but just the expectation of doing that? yikes, i feel exhausted just thinking about it.
the only thing that's keeping me remotely sane is the fact that i watch youtube videos/tv shows on the other half of the screen while i work on this garbage. i'm nowhere near finished, i won't be done for another month, and i feel kind of hopeless. not suicidal hopeless and depressed, just the kind of depressed where i want a complete break from anything responsible for at least a week, maybe a month. if i wasn't taking medication to help me sleep, my sleep would probably be fucked up too. and to make things worse, i'm on disability because of mental illness and chronic pain and all of this stress is worsening that too. i legitimately feel like i need to call my psychiatrist to make an early appointment to up my antidepressants, that's how shitty that i feel right now.
do anons have any advice on destressing or at least cheering myself up? i can't count the times that i've sighed today and no amount of baby animal pictures or playing with my own pet is working. i haven't tried to keep fucking that chicken yet but i will keep that in mind.
I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR MY WANGST
i have to study something extremely boring for work --- it's literally the most boring thing that i've studied in my entire life --- and the pressure of being expected to study non-stop is really worsening my depression. i'm not kidding, my manager expects me to do at least 4 online practice tests a day, and they take 1.5-2 hours each (in total: 6-8 hours/day), even on my days off and the weekend. i don't do that because 2 practice tests a day is mind-numbingly boring enough, but just the expectation of doing that? yikes, i feel exhausted just thinking about it.
the only thing that's keeping me remotely sane is the fact that i watch youtube videos/tv shows on the other half of the screen while i work on this garbage. i'm nowhere near finished, i won't be done for another month, and i feel kind of hopeless. not suicidal hopeless and depressed, just the kind of depressed where i want a complete break from anything responsible for at least a week, maybe a month. if i wasn't taking medication to help me sleep, my sleep would probably be fucked up too. and to make things worse, i'm on disability because of mental illness and chronic pain and all of this stress is worsening that too. i legitimately feel like i need to call my psychiatrist to make an early appointment to up my antidepressants, that's how shitty that i feel right now.
do anons have any advice on destressing or at least cheering myself up? i can't count the times that i've sighed today and no amount of baby animal pictures or playing with my own pet is working. i haven't tried to keep fucking that chicken yet but i will keep that in mind.