Just an update on this - my husband and I have discovered we have different goals for this and it's looking unlikely that we'll pursue it. He wanted to spice things up with casual hookups, while I explained that if we were going to look for a third it would be something more consistent/committed. In the end we decided that since we can't agree on what this would consist of, it's better not to look into it at all. We do want to make local friends (we moved here within the last year and I don't work outside the home, so I am pretty lonely sometimes) so we're going to try other avenues for meeting people.