stop grabbing for straws. it's fine to be sad, but sitting there and crying or having a meltdown and making longwinded posts all over the internet about you and your life? that's kind of crossing a line, especially when you make their death ~all about you and your ~identity. this is a human being who has a family that is hurting. someone making it all about their feels and their growth and how they feel like they're losing a part of themselves when they didn't even know the person and how they were so impacted 20 years ago by this person is just nasty, attention-grabbing behavior imo.