rpanonmod ([personal profile] rpanonmod) wrote in [community profile] rpanons2014-11-22 11:34 pm

Basically my kitchen is Wankgate

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Re: ITT relationship woes

(Anonymous) 2014-11-23 03:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Straight up say you won't do it unless he's there to help and that you will divorce his ass and seek child support if he doesn't hold up his end of the bargain, because you want this career too and you can't do it if you're stuck doing everything with the kids.

+1

(Anonymous) 2014-11-23 06:21 pm (UTC)(link)
yeah, be blunt

Re: ITT relationship woes

(Anonymous) 2014-11-23 07:42 pm (UTC)(link)
uhhh

wow

yeah i'm sure every guy is chomping at the bit for someone to bluntly threaten them with divorce if they don't perform to your standards, you guys are masters at relationships

Re: ITT relationship woes

(Anonymous) 2014-11-23 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
0/10

Re: ITT relationship woes

(Anonymous) 2014-11-23 09:33 pm (UTC)(link)
yeah because nothing spells out a loving, healthy relationship full of trust like leading off a lifetime commitment with threats

you bitches deserve to be lonely

da

(Anonymous) 2014-11-23 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)
I think most people in this thread already know that tbh.

Re: ITT relationship woes

(Anonymous) 2014-11-23 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
because nothing spells out a loving, healthy relationship full of trust like being worried your husband is trying to pressure you into quitting your career to raise his babies!

making it clear you're only willing to raise a family with someone if they share childbearing duties is not a threat jfc

Re: ITT relationship woes

(Anonymous) 2014-11-23 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Given how often fathers leave all or most of the work to the woman, yeah, no. Be blunt that if they aren't going to do the work, they don't get to be a father in any way possible. They don't get all of the glory for none of the work.

Re: ITT relationship woes

(Anonymous) 2014-11-23 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)
and your dick isn't worth that much, sorry

Re: ITT relationship woes

(Anonymous) 2014-11-24 12:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Wording it like that first anon did probably isn't the best way to do it, but you absolutely have to be clear on your expectations before you get married. Marriage is a lifetime/very long commitment, and you don't want to commit to someone who's not willing to compromise with you on things.

It sounds to me like the OP's career is important to her, and she needs to know if her boyfriend will respect that. If he won't, then he's not someone she should marry. This is absolutely a discussion they should have before they get married.

Re: ITT relationship woes

(Anonymous) 2014-11-24 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
what the fuck is wrong with you people? any guy who doesn't dump your ass on the spot if you do that is a spineless wuss with zero self-respect.

and no, you pristine examples of straw-feminists, i don't mean because you want a career, but because you're laying down terms and conditions, complete with threat of penalties, for fucking marriage. christ, who'd ever want to marry someone who starts off with "yeah i'm gonna divorce you if you do X or don't do Y"

Re: ITT relationship woes

(Anonymous) 2014-11-24 07:32 pm (UTC)(link)
figuring out terms and conditions is fucking necessary for marriage you literal 16-year-old. you can't just wave a magic romance wand that makes love solve all your problems for you. if my partner has a dealbreaker that might result in us not being able to stay together, you'd better fucking believe i'd want to be told about it before we get hitched.

Re: ITT relationship woes

(Anonymous) 2014-11-24 08:26 pm (UTC)(link)
You literally do not know how marriage works

Of course you lay out terms and conditions. A lot of them aren't outright said. "you won't cheat on me" is one. But kids and childrearing should be laid out before you get married because if you have vastly different ideas, it won't work.

Re: ITT relationship woes

(Anonymous) 2014-11-25 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
you're laying down terms and conditions ... for fucking marriage.

why is this unreasonable

i could understand it if you were talking about something inconsequential

"you're laying down terms and conditions for a fucking trip to the grocery store"

"you're laying down terms and conditions for fucking buying orange juice"

"you're laying down terms and conditions for clipping your toenails"

but you're talking about an important life-altering decision so uh

+1

(Anonymous) 2014-11-25 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
this is pretty much why prenuptial agreements exist. marriage in this day and age is a legal obligation. you are both legally and financially responsible for each other until you get divorced, and even then it's likely the one making the most money will still owe alimony to the other (usually to the wife, but there've been men that have received it)

everything you own/do/partake of while married will carry over even if you leave them. your credit can be screwed. their debts can be shifted to you. this is a serious fucking legal obligation. you bet your ass i'd lay down some serious legal groundwork first. most people don't get married like it's in a movie and they just have a wedding and live in bliss.

-10000

(Anonymous) 2014-11-25 06:20 am (UTC)(link)
can you stop sameanoning please, it's very obvious and you look like an idiot

threatening the person you're supposed to love is borderline abusive and if you think that's okay you're disgusting

let me guess, you don't care because it's a man being threatened by a woman

nice

Re: -10000

(Anonymous) 2014-11-26 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
what are you smoking

da

(Anonymous) 2014-11-26 05:49 pm (UTC)(link)
ah yes the whole "if you set boundaries and parameters in a relationship you're abusive" line

that says so much more about you than it does about anyone in this thread

Re: -10000

(Anonymous) 2014-11-27 04:57 pm (UTC)(link)
you have got to be high

the only one who looks like an idiot is you

Re: -10000

(Anonymous) 2014-11-27 05:00 pm (UTC)(link)
whoa whoa whoa now
leave us stoners out of this
we are too chill to care trust me